thoughts

It is the soldier

2008-10-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given us the freedom of the press.

It is the soldier, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

It is the soldier, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the soldier who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.

—Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, United States Marine Corps (1923-2002)

Funny

2008-09-24T15:42:00.001-07:00

www.zombo.com

Product (RED)

2008-09-17T19:05:00.000-07:00

Product (RED) has been doing some amazing work in Rwanda lately. Check out their blogs on www.myspace.com/joinred to see what they have been up to in the tiny country with so much heart.

Pageant Coaching

2008-09-16T13:56:00.000-07:00

For those of you interested in competing and would like some individual training and preparation, I am offering complete pageant training.

One-on-one Coaching, phone, email, iChat

Interview skills
Mock Interviews
Platform Development
Appearance Bookings
Public Relations
Paper Work Review
Wardrobe
Walking
Hair and Makeup
Fitness and Nutrition

Please email me for more information.

Brittany Frick
Miss International 2006
missinternational06@gmail.com

My AfriCause

2008-09-15T00:27:00.000-07:00

Hopefully it will be up soon. There is a great deal of work that is being done, so stay tuned!

It is coming!!!!

2008-08-24T17:07:00.000-07:00

Something epic is coming your way!

www.myafricause.com

Check it out.

Praise 'Em!

2008-06-29T23:52:00.001-07:00

The Lord is at work on something great. He is answering a prayer in His time and it is awesome. When you fully trust in Him and persevere on an issue He will answer you. Sometimes it is a yes, sometimes it is a no and sometimes we just need to wait.

Today He gave me a yes and I'm excited at the possibilities that may come soon.

Praise 'Em!

P.S. Just cause I can't sleep anymore doesn't mean I can't try!

CRAZY Night!

2008-06-26T00:31:00.000-07:00

Well, tonight was interesting. I had dinner with some great friends that were down visiting and afterwards I spent about an hour with a homeless man named Marvin outside the restaurant. I gave Tiffany my credit card and had her go in a buy him dinner. Brandi made him a bouquet of lollipops and the girls and I went and sat back down with him and he sang us songs and talked about the Lord. It was awesome.

Afterwards I was giving my friend's son a jedi lesson in light saber fighting and we heard all this screeching noise and then it came...the smashing of two cars almost completely head on. Nick and I immediately bolted at the sound running into the middle of the intersection to see if these people were alright. My friend's husband, a cop came running after us and started directing traffic. The first car was smashed in the front with all four airbags deployed and one of the two girls (there were 4 teenagers all together in the car) came running from the car screaming while the other tried to get out. The other car was smashed on the front drivers side and they were unable to open the driver's side door. Nick talked to them to see if they were alive, conscious, breathing, etc while I was at the other car. It was insane! There was an ambulance in the parking lot across the street and they were there not even a minute or two after it happened. The two people in the second car that could not get out of the driver's side were taken to the ER in the ambulance and the four teenagers were fine, just extremely shook up. I am not sure who hit who but one of them ran the red light, and I am almost positive it was the teenagers that came blowing through the light only to hit the other car while they were making a left hand turn.

So the lesson for the day, feed a homeless man and PAY ATTENTION WHILE DRIVING! And if you hear the crash do the right thing and go make sure they are all alright!

Jesus' Love

2008-06-24T03:06:00.000-07:00

I am writing late once again but this time it is not because of insomnia, but rather because I am bursting at the seams to tell you of the Love of Jesus.

This week the message God spoke to me about being still has resonated inside my heart, my mind, and my soul. Everyday that I spend meditating on those two words, God reveals something new about what he means by me being still. Tonight I was at a worship concert at Saddleback and as I was sitting there listening to Meredith Andrews sing I could not help but fight back my tears. Once again God was speaking directly to me but through her this time. Every song she sang, even though I had heard it before, sounded as if it was the first time her words had ever reached my ears. And every word she spoke before she would sing was a message from the Lord about being steadfast in Him, going deeper with Him when He calls, and trusting in Him when we feel lonely or as though we have lost it all. She then sang the song that has become the theme song for my life right now, You’re not alone. I love the lyrics of that song so much.

I search for love

When the night came and it closed in

I was alone

but you found me where I was hiding

and though I'll never ever be the same

It was the sweetest voice that called my name

singing

You're not alone

For I am here

let me wipe away every fear

My love I've never left your side

I have seen you through the darkest night

and I'm the one that's loved you all your life

All of your life

You cry yourself to sleep

cause the hurt is real

and the pain cuts deep

All hope seems lost

With heartache your closest friend

and everyone else long gone

You've had to face the music on your own

but there is a sweeter song that calls you home

**sayin'

You're not alone

For I am here

let me wipe away your every tear

My love I've never left your side

I have seen you through the darkest nights

And I'm the one that's love you all your life

All your life

Faithful and true... Forever

For my love will carry you....

You're not alone

for I... I am here

let me wipe away every fear... Oh yeah

My love I've never left your side

I have seen you through your darkest nights

Your darkest nights

And I'm the one that's loved you all your life

All of your life

As she sang that song I was taken back to my first, real, and only love, Jesus. I closed my eyes and felt God stir inside of me and an image came into my head. It was a vision that I was looking at myself on my knees, kneeling before the cross of Jesus. It was on a hill and the sun was setting and the various orange colors of the sunset were dancing in the sky. I was weeping as I knelt before the cross and all of a sudden a man in a white robe came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me and gave me comfort, and that man was Jesus. If I could draw I would replicate this picture on paper so I could save it for the rest of my life. It was beautiful.

Jesus knows our pain; he understands our hurts more than anyone does. The reason that He knows this is because He took that pain from us the day He hung on that cross. He stayed there nailed to the cross all day feeling every hurt, sorrow, pain, and sadness that we all would ever feel throughout our lives as He died that day. He knows what we are feeling and that is why He is able to comfort us like no one else can. That is why my vision/image was so surreal to me tonight, because Jesus felt it first so He is the one that can give you and me the true and lasting comfort that we so desperately need at times. The kind of comfort that we long to receive from our friends and loved ones, but they never seem to get it quite right, that is the kind of comfort and healing that only Jesus can give. If you understand the kind of pain someone is going through, you are better suited to help them because you actually know what that pain feels like and how to walk through it. And Jesus is that person for us. He felt the pain first and therefore He knows how to comfort and heal us. And it is all because He loves us! Oh how He loves us so much! He loves us so much that we can give thanks in knowing that someone understands what we are going through, even if all the walls feel like they are closing in on you. Jesus loves you so much and wants you to seek after Him, no matter what the cost may be.

When God Speaks

2008-06-23T02:26:00.000-07:00

I sat in church tonight prepared to hear just another good message. With no expectations whatsoever I opened the bulletin, pulled out the famous Saddleback Notes and to my surprise they were not the usual ten fill-ins with bullets and short Bible verses, but rather a story from the Acts with only three points to fill in. Upon seeing this discovery I thought that message tonight might not be all that interesting because there was not a whole lot of writing for me to do. They say you are not supposed to judge a book by its cover and this is something I too will agree with. However I still did not think much of it, maybe it is just my current mood that prevented me from getting overly excited or having high expectations, but the message tonight hit me like a car into a brick wall at over 200mph.

God speaks to us in many different ways; one is directly to your heart and soul, or through the Bible, and even through other people. I felt tonight like God gave this message to Pastor Buddy Owens to speak directly to me. It was as if I was sitting alone in the worship center and God was having a face-to-face conversation with me and it was awesome.

He spoke on Acts 16: 23-34, when Paul and Silas were beaten and imprisoned and the point of his message was “What to do when there’s nothing you can do”. When life’s circumstances are completely out of your control and there is nothing you can really do to fix it. The story was pulled apart and the people involved were examined. The reason why Paul was in prison was because of his obedience to God. He had a dream, God spoke to him and he did what he was told to do, even though it landed him in prison. Silas was there because he was loyal to Paul. We are not told what happened, just that of all the people that were with Paul, Silas was the only other person arrested with Paul. The jailer was in prison because that was his duty, his job. The prisoners were there because they put themselves there on their own bad decisions.

²³After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. ²⁴Upon receiving such orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.

²⁵About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. ²⁶Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose. ²⁷The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. ²⁸But Paul shouted, "Don't harm yourself! We are all here!"

²⁹The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. ³⁰He then brought them out and asked, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?"

³¹They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household." ³²Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. ³³At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his family were baptized. ³⁴The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole family.

His three points were this:

1. Make a decision. What are you going to do when you are in a circumstance that you cannot control? Are you going to pout or are you going to pray? Are you going to worry or are you going to worship?

2. Hold on to your faith. Hold on to what you know is true about God. Trust in Him no matter what the outcome may be.

3. Stay Focused. Don’t be distracted by your trouble. Talk to God, sing praises to Him. Keep the word of God in your heart and let the praises of God become the soundtrack of your life.

What got me was the complete and total affirmation I received from God. It was as though He came to me and said Brittany you are doing everything I expect you to do, be still and know that I am God. I am in control and I have you exactly where I want you to be.

I have been spending massive amounts of time with the Lord the past four days, in the Word, prayer, meditation and fasting. The Bible tells us that when we truly want to seek God and praise Him this is what we are to do. Daniel fasted, Paul fasted, Jesus fasted, and others in the Bible fasted in an effort to hear the voice of God and learn what it is that He wants from them or to teach them something. It is an act of obedience and total surrender to God and to the Holy Spirit. In this time one big thing that the Lord spoke to me was to Be Still. I had been very anxious and upset and He just told me to be still, to give up all that I was feeling and to release it to Him. To remember that He is in control of everything and I needed to not be so worrisome. I have been meditating on those words since He spoke them. There have been other things that have been spoken to me as well, but this was a big one that has really stuck and I am reminded of it daily. Tonight though everything came together.

I made a decision right away that I was going to give my situation to the Lord. I said from day one that this was in His control and that whatever was His will I would accept it, even if it were not what I wanted. Well, it is not what I wanted, but it is what the Lord wants. I have not lost my faith, but rather my faith has been strengthened and renewed. I know that the Lord has a plan and a purpose and therefore I have been holding on to that promise tighter than you could imagine. And finally I have been extremely focused on the Lord. I have my moments of melt down and tears, but that is when I have to give it back up to Him. I have to release my anxiety, worry, fear, hurt, heartache, and pain and know that He is God and He is in control. Sometimes it is easy to forget because you just want to forgo any wisdom and just wallow, but that gets you nowhere. I have kept the word of God in my heart and I get into it completely, day-by-day for that very reason. When I am focused on Him, I am on the road to healing.

As I sat and listened to Buddy speak tonight the words “be still” came crashing into me again. I realized that when He originally told me to be still the meaning was two-fold. At first it was for me to calm down and give it to Him, to trust that He was doing something with this. Tonight I received the other half of the message He was giving me. To be still and to stay exactly where I am, to not run away and find the quick fix. To stay focused on Him and to not get distracted by the things of this world that only mask our pain temporarily and do nothing to heal us. He was telling me this, “I am protecting you, I am shielding you, stay in this place where I have you wrapped in my arms. Let me protect you, comfort you, and heal you. Don’t run away from me and try and fix this on your own. Let me do what I have set out to do, what I have been trying to do for a while that you have not let me do. I started this now let me finish this. Be still Brittany, stop moving and let me work.” When He spoke that message to me I wanted to fall off of my chair, start crying and praise Him. I fought back the tears in my eyes and started praying a prayer of thanks for the wonder and awesomeness that the Lord is. He is so good and I have not given Him enough credit the past few months and for that I am repentant.

The Lord only wants what is best for us and He will heal and deliver us from our pain. The rest of the message tonight was asking who are you in this story? Are you Paul and in your prison for your obedience to God? Are you Silas and there because of your loyalty to someone and you are therefore stuck in their situation? Are you the jailer who either needs or has had a spiritual awakening? Or are you the prisoners, who have been set free by God, but instead of walking out of the prison like Paul and Silas did you decided to stay in your current misery. You decided that sitting in your own mess is better than being free and walking with God. I came to see that in the past I was the prisoner, I was the one that was trapped by my own chains and when God tried to set me free I did not move out of my cell. I just decided to stay there. Now I have not decided to walk out of my cell, I have put on my LiveStrong Nike’s and run out of there as fast as my 100% of the sale, charitable, Nike’s will take me! I’m not staying around to find out once again that I cannot fix my own mess God has to do that. My chains are broken and He has set me free, why would I want to stick around and lock myself back up? Yet, so many of us do this and we do not even realize it. We have these chains that keep us bolted to the ground. Some problem or fear that we refuse to deal with or give to the Lord, we either hold on to it really tight, learn how to cope with it, or we ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist, thus keeping us chained to the ground in our pain. No matter which approach you take, we are choosing to stay locked in our cell, even when God is offering total freedom and redemption. Not a single one of us, believer or not is free from this bondage. We all have some issue(s) that is holding us back from pursuing the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength, and from living the life that God intended us to live. The phrase “Let go and let God” is highly overused and is most times just a generic cliché for a superficial comfort from people who pretend to care. However, it has truth behind it. We do have to let go of our problem and we do have to rely on God to change us and heal us. So how about “release and restore” or something of that nature. God allows us to go through times of pain so that He can teach us, mold us, and shape us into the people that He wants us to become. For me, this is one of those times. It is a time of hurting, fear, release from strongholds, and restoration of my heart and soul, and the One who created and designed my heart and soul is doing it. The One that made me and has a plan for my life is fixing the damage I have done so that I can get back to where I need to be and do the things He originally planned for me to do. Great things that only God could have though of. That is why we hurt and that is why He, God, is the ultimate healer and lover of our souls.

How He loves us

2008-06-22T00:40:00.000-07:00

How is it that you Love us Lord? How can it ever be measured? It is impossible to know the true extent of the love that you feel for each and every one of us. Not just your followers but also every single one of your creations. You love us all.

The oceans waves crashed on the shore today, yet again reminding me of all the intricacies of your beautiful creation. I stand in awe of the mighty power of the oceans current and realize that I am just a speck of sand compared to the massive body of water. Yet in your eyes I am more than a speck. We all are. You did not created speck of things to just fill up room. You created people with hearts, minds, bodies, and souls. You gave us free will and the power to choose to worship and love you.

You created every detail of this earth from the smallest microorganism to the largest Blue Whale. You thought about every detail of each living thing in this world. You gave everything a purpose and nothing has ever or will ever go unnoticed in your eyes. Looking at the vast expansion of our sky and realizing that there is so much more in our universe that we will never see here on earth and it is was all done for us to enjoy and for your glory Lord. We are here to serve and worship you. We can worship you in everything that we do. We can worship you in the smallest details of our lives for you are an awesome God.

You love us so much that our brains will never be able to comprehend the extent to which you will do things for us and why. Some people choose not to believe that you are God because they cannot figure you out Lord. But we are not supposed to completely figure you out because you are God. There are some things about you that we just have to have pure faith in. The beauty of you Lord is that we can figure out many things about you just by walking with you everyday. By sharing in your creation, loving each other and spending time just worshipping and listening for your voice. There is none like you Lord. No matter how much the enemy tries to pull us away from you, how many lies he feeds us, or how much he tries to hurt you through us, you will be victorious Jesus! You are King and you will reign forever. No one can take that from you. James says, even the demons shudder at the sound of your name. Satan himself is not free from you either. He bows at your feet God. He has even had to ask permission to tempt before. But you will always protect us through it all.

We will ALL walk through spiritual battles in our lifetime. None of us are immune to the enemy. Yet if we remain close to you and give up whatever we are battling we will win. We can overcome and we can be free of our strongholds. People say, "If God is for me who can be against me?” well everyone. Everyone can be against you. But we have You on our side and because of your love for us we can stand victorious. Just because we have you does not mean that we will be free of hurt and pain. Satan is always out to get us, everyday, but many do not realize this. Many believe that either the enemy does not exist or that he does not affect them. But this is a lie that he feeds them so that he can become invisible to them and they will not even realize the work he is doing in their lives. "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8. Jesus even you were tempted by Satan. He tempts everyone and the enemy himself is blinding anyone who believes otherwise from the truth. But no matter what Lord we can always look to you for strength. We can rebuke him in your name Jesus and we can fight on in this raging war. It will only get worse before it gets better, but when it does get better it will be more than we were created to imagine. We cannot comprehend the pain and suffering of neither hell nor can we comprehend the joy and wonder of heaven, but that was done so that it will be a sweet surprise for us when we get there.

The past few days I have been greatly feeling and needing your love Lord. You have not failed me yet, but rather have met me with open arms in the dark, leading me out into the light. You have brought me comfort, peace, and an overwhelming sense of restoration and healing. It comes in small doses but it comes all day long. You love us so and we are called to love others. Therefore I say, I have forgiven them and I am desperately trying to love them the way you call us to love each other. For even the unlovable are lovable if we seek to love them like you do.

I long for you Jesus like an infant longs for its mother. I am eager to know and love you more and more intimately and deeper each day. You meet me every morning and you lay me to rest every night. You are picking up the pieces and putting them back in order. I know that I cannot rebuild what you have crafted and I have tried unsuccessfully in the past. I praise you for your great works and the work of the Spirit inside of me right now. They say there is light at the end of the tunnel, but the light is with us all the time and in that light there is love. For you are our light Jesus. You light our paths; you even said you are the light of the world. It is a reminder of the lights from the pilgrims at the Feast of Tabernacles. All who came to worship you in those days filled the sky with light and now you fill the sky with light. Your death and resurrection has filled my life with light. Even though I feel as though I am walking in the dark, I am not. I am walking with in the light, for you are with me.

Rwanda Update from Friends Church Kigali

2008-06-03T11:33:00.000-07:00

I know it has been a while since I have posted a blog, but here is an update from Rwanda. I am so pleased that things have gone well with them since we left and it is such a blessing to hear the things God is doing there.

Hello to each of you,

How are you all doing since you were here with us in Rwanda? We are all doing well in my family, in the church and our country in general.

I wanted to tell you the good fruit that we saw from the 40 Days of Purpose. Our Church has 4 smaller churches under it, so these numbers are coming from all 5 churches.

Before the 40 Days of Purpose we had 452 members and after the 40 Days we now have 516 members. So we gained 64 through 40 Days of Purpose. We have already baptized some of these new believers and we are training and teaching the others before we will baptize them.

Before the 40 Days of Purpose we had 50 small groups, now we have 64 small groups.

There are a few obstacles we are facing...

--Some of our new members are elderly people and sickly people who live far away up to 7-8 km away from our Church of Kagarama.

--It is difficult for some people that live in the city to find time to come to teachings/trainings of the church.

--We have many small groups, but not all of the small group leaders are prepared and others do not have enough time to lead.

In order to solve these little problems (overcome the above obstacles)...

1)--For those that live far away we are renting a place for them to meet during the week so that they only have to come to Kagarama once per week.

2)--We are studying and preparing teachings that will be helpful in mid-week small group meetings and then we will meet all together on Sundays.

3)--We are and will be doing some workshops to train the small group leaders.

4)--For the finale of the 40 Days we rented a vehicle and went and picked up those that live far away to help ease their coming to the finale.

In the last day of the 40 Days of Purpose God did a miracle in my life. One of my sons named Nitegeka Jeremie who is 15 years old has not been a good boy for the last 7 years, he has had bad character traits/behaivor. To tell his testimony in brief, he accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior, he was given a vision of an angel standing in front of him, on his right was a bright light (holiness) and on the left was darkness (sin).and the angel told him that he needed choose to accept Jesus or die. The angel told him that he has 2 gifts; 1 is to sing and a gift to play soccer, and told him that he needs to use these abilities that God has given him. The angel also told him that people despise him (the pastor's son) because of his sins. The angel told him that God loves him but that He hates his sin. So on the last day of the 40 days of purpose he stood in front of our congregation and repented of his sins and accepted Christ. His testimony is very long, but I have tried to say it in a few words.

Please continue to pray for my family to continue in the Lord and for our church to continue to grow.

Thank you,

Pastor Gaspard Karemera

Kagarama Friends Church

Rwanda

Interviews and Blessings

2008-04-07T06:08:00.001-07:00

Today we were supposed to meet up with Bonnie’s team for church, but since This is Africa, it didn’t work out the way we planned. Jean Marie was going to drop them off at church by 9am and then come back and get us. However, by 10:15 it was safe to assume that wasn’t going to happen. Skip finally called and said their church was an hour away so we told him not to send Jean Marie to get us.

Caroline had sermon pod casts on her computer from Rock Harbor so we listened to an Advent one on hope. At first I was kind of unsure about it because he was talking about the birth of Jesus and the people of the Bible that were waiting for his birth, but then he transitioned to the difference between wishes and hope. It was actually really good.

He explained that a wish means that we are in control. We say what and how much we want. We put together a list of wishes, but nothing will ever measure up and therefore we will always be disappointed. Hope is beyond wishes. It is focused on a promise that we will never fully understand. We have to learn to let go of wishes and start hoping. God has been faithful to us in the past and he will be faithful to us in the future. Many of us though, look to our past and think of all the bad things that have happened and wonder where God was in those situations and therefore we have a hard time having hope. Having hope means that we are trusting in something that is way beyond our imagination and comprehension. We have to learn to fully trust God in order to have hope. We always have problems when we lean towards what we wish for, versus leaning towards who we hope in. We will not get what we wish for, but when we hope in Christ we will be put in a place we never imagined. Wishes are limited, but hope is limitless. You cannot give God your wish list and you cannot be a Christian because of what WE get out of it. Jesus came God’s way, not our way. Elizabeth and Zachariah had hope and then they had John the Baptist, Mary and Joseph had hope, Simeon even had hope and was kept alive until he saw the baby Jesus, even Anna got to see him. They all had hope and they were blessed by God. They did not get what the wished for (Joseph and Mary wanting to marry and then have a baby, Zachariah not believing Elizabeth would get pregnant because they were so old) but they hoped. We have to learn to wait for Jesus and he will come in ways we never expected. You have to ask God where we need to change and how we can learn to hope. We have to be open to God. He does not disappoint because God has poured out his love for us.

It really makes you think about all the things that we wish for instead of hope for. How many of us actually sit and wish that our lives were different, we had more money, we had a better job, and better spouse, a new car, etc. We all sit and wish for things. But how many of us actually have hope? How many of us actually realize the difference between hope and wishes? I never really did. I knew they were different, but after hearing this message I realize that there is a big difference. Hoping is waiting on God. Wishing is waiting upon ourselves. When we wish, we ask ourselves to make it happen. When we hope, we ask for God to make it happen. But God never makes it happen the way we expect. He goes beyond our imagination as if to say, see I told you that I could not only do it, but I could do it in a way you could not have imagined. It is like my trip to Rwanda. I had expectations of what would happen and how my experience would be, but once again the Lord showed his mighty power and showed me way more than I had anticipated. My trip here was full of life lessons that I never expected to learn. Some were lessons he had been trying to teach me for a while but I never grasped until now. Others are new lessons and new desires of hope for future things. He is sovereign and mighty and works in mysterious ways.

So after our “church service” the girls went back to Bourbon, but I just couldn’t do it again so I went to the Serena and met Steve K., Shawn, and Cameron (Relevant Mag) for lunch. I helped Shawn make some phone calls to build a data base of local hotels/guest houses for future trips. I finally got my expense report together which was such a relief. Apparently the girls finally met up with Bonnie’s team for dinner at Bourbon. I didn’t go though. Shawn and I were helping Cameron set up for his interview with Rick. He was doing a pod cast and video taping it so we helped him record it. Unfortunately Cameron didn’t get a chance to ask all the questions he wanted to but he will get another chance on the way to Kenya. Hearing Pastor Rick talk about the PEACE plan and Purpose Driven Life you really see the passion in why he does these things. It is not because HE wants credit or attention. It is not because he is trying to make himself be a celebrity or a world pastor, but it is because he has a love for people and because he has an incredible love and relationship with the Lord. The Holy Spirit moves him and God calls him to do things, and it is not Rick doing these things but the Lord that is using him as an outlet to get His work done. Which is pretty cool to be able to see things like that. Pastor Rick has a great deal of influence but it is not his own influence that he is using. It is God that is shaping nations and people and churches, Pastor Rick just happens to be a tool that God works through.

After Cameron’s interview Pastor Rick told Shawn how awesome he is and made a joke that Shawn is his replacement. He is training him to take over one day. It was funny but a very nice compliment to the work that Shawn is doing not only over here in Rwanda, but also in his position in the church.

So Cameron, Shawn and I had dinner there and then Cameron was going to interview us for his pod cast as well, but he was had to leave with the Fox documentary crew to visit some local Rwandese music and record it. So Shawn did the interview since they are rooming together at the Serena and I went home to bed.

It was another amazing and productive day in Kigali and I am so happy for the opportunities that I get to experience here. God has been so gracious to me and I would not be able to do any of this if it wasn’t first and foremost for God’s divine blessing, my parents support, everyone the contributed to helping me get here, and all of your prayers. So thank you! Words cannot express my gratitude towards all of you!

The New Bourbon Coffee

2008-04-07T06:05:00.000-07:00

Well the new Bourbon Coffee opened today! It actually opened the night before and unfortunately we missed the big event. Apparently they were giving away free coffee and food and Pastor Rick was there to give the blessing and pray for it. So the girls and I went this morning to the MTN Center to check it out and it is huge! It is really cool and the menu is different which makes me happy because after eating there day after day you kind of get sick of having the same food.

We had lunch and then left to UTC (Union Trade Center) where the old Bourbon is to use the internet. But before we went there across the street from the UTC is a little shopping district with shops of crafts and jewelry. I bought a few things and then spoke with this lady that owns one of the shops there. She had some really cool things in her shop. She had these stuffed dolls, elephants, and giraffes. I wanted to buy the elephant really bad, but I decided to wait until Wednesday after we go to Amani. However, she was telling me that the dolls and elephants and giraffes are made by street girls. She taught them how to make them and then she hand paints the fabric. They were amazing and well worth the RWF 5,000 a piece. So I will most likely go back and get the giraffe and elephant.

With no teams in town for us to join it was one of our “down” days. So after bourbon again we just went back to Phil and Becca’s early. She made us dinner and as bad as I have been craving Mexican food I was so disappointed. She made enchiladas but I didn't eat it because I have been sick. Oh well. I go home to Taco Bell (a weird craving I know) in a few days anyways!

Gorilla Trekking

2008-04-05T07:30:00.001-07:00

My alarm woke me up at 2am this morning which to my surprise I was absolutely ok with me for once. The driver was supposed to show up at 3:15am but never came so Arthur had to track him down but was unsuccessful in reaching him. So instead he called a taxi. We had to be at the Serena at 3:45 to leave by 4:00 and by 3:50 Shawn and I are running down a dirt road that is the farthest thing from flat you have ever seen, in the dark to find this taxi. We decided it was good training for the Amazing Race though.

We arrived at the Serena at 4:10 just in time to jump in one of the Land Rovers and make the 3 hour drive to the volcanoes. There are no street lights up this mountain so the only light you have is from the cars. With our caravan of five Land Rovers heading up the mountain at 4:30 in the morning, life in Rwanda has already started. There sun has yet to awaken and yet the Rwandans are already headed down the mountain into town to sell their goods. Men, women, and children, some barefoot, some with babies on their backs, and all with loads of potatoes, beans, or other crops on their heads. They walk miles and miles from their remote villages to the city in hopes of selling theirs goods in order to make a few francs for the basic survival. They have no running water or electricity. They do not have the luxuries of a window in their mud huts or doors that separate their bedroom from their kitchen/living room. They do not even have a floor to walk on. They clean themselves with dirty water from streams nearby. Occasionally they will have a well they can pump clean water from. Yet this clean water for the Rwandans would make any westerner extremely sick. The few hundred people that we drove past in the darkness of the early morning have to make this trek back up the mountain to their villages later that evening. With only four hospitals in Rwanda there is a lack of health care and a lack of ambulances. This being said my next sight was heartbreaking. It was four people carrying a sick person on a homemade stretcher. They were not carrying this person down the mountain, but rather up the mountain. Sometimes it can take a person two, three, or even four days to walk to the nearest hospital. Many times there are people that do not have the family members or friends to carry them and they therefore have to walk. Could you imagine being extremely sick and having to walk a day or even four days to see the doctor? Or being a mother walking with your sick child or infant to see the doctor, not being able to heal them of their pain? And yet the push on and do what they have to do because there is no other way. A man in our SUV was telling us that on separate occasions he came across two sick people on the human ambulance, if you will, and made his driver pull over and put the sick people in his van and drove them to the hospital. It is in situations like theses that you see the love between people. Had we not been smashed into our SUV’s like sardines, we too would have taken that person to the doctor.

As we continued our drive the sun finally began to rise. I don’t think I have ever seen the sunrise as beautiful as it was here. It was an incredible sight. The red, orange, yellow, and even purple rays of light dancing across the sky as God awakens his people with a beautiful symphony. You cannot help but praise him at a time like that. To see God’s ultimate imagination and creativity at work is a true blessing. It is in this brief moment that we are connected with God in a way that only you and Him can experience together. It is as though He is showing you a window into His heavenly kingdom and giving you hope and excitement of a world that awaits us when our time here is done.

We finally arrived at the base camp to the volcanoes. We signed our lives away and wrote down our next of kin, and then were broke up into two groups of eight and one group of five. My group of eight was a great group. I had the CEO of Relevant Magazine who is here covering the PEACE Plan, a newly wed couple that is now living in Rwanda for the next year and a half doing God’s work, a woman from Iceland that came here by herself to see the gorillas, and the rest of the group was from Church. We had an orientation with our two guides where they explained that we needed to maintain a safe distance of seven meters from the gorillas and there is no flash photography, food, or drinks allowed near the gorillas. In fact as we got near them we had to leave everything except our cameras to go see them. Once orientation was over we hopped in our Land Rover and drove about forty minutes to the base of the volcano. The reason for the forty minute drive is because on the dirt roads you have to drive slow and what would normally take fifteen minutes on a smooth road takes at least twice that long on these dirt roads. We made it to the base just in time as most of us in the car were starting to experience motion sickness from all the rocking back and forth and bouncing up and down. Once we arrived we were met by a group of porters. They will come with you if you request them and either carry your bag or help you hike through the jungle. We were told that once they had to carry a 300 pound woman to see the gorillas because she was too big to walk, they help an 83 woman get up there, and another time they helped a blind man walk through the jungle to “see” them as well. They handed us walking sticks that were hand made and even had little gorillas carved into the tops, and we started our journey.

It began with a long walk through various potato fields. We were welcomed by excited children running through the crops waving excitedly and using their little English to say “Good Morning” to us. We finally arrived at a wood chopping station, this is where they chop down trees and cut the extremely large and thick wood logs into smaller pieces to sell. It is a very tedious process that is done by placing a large log on top of a wood stand, while one person stands on top of the log sawing through it while another person stands underneath the log and helps pull the saw through. At this station we were met by two soldiers carrying AK47’s. They will be joining us for protection from leopards, elephants, or any other large animal that we may encounter, as well as for poachers. Since the gorillas are extremely endangered and the poachers are very prevalent the soldiers will shoot to kill the poachers on the spot if necessary. Which makes for an exciting day of hiking through the jungle. We started up the volcano and when I say we hiked through the jungle, that is exactly what we did. There was no nicely paved trail or open path that we walked through, no, one of our guides carried a machete and he would chop through the brush when necessary for us to go through. There is also this lovely little demon plant called “Stinging Neddles”, let me just tell you, we got along great! I took the first hit for them team when I backed up into one and the little pricker came straight through my jeans and stabbed me in the back of the leg. It is like a cactus needle, but called a neddle, and it stings like bee. If you have ever been stung before then you understand my pain. It takes about five to ten minutes for the pain to subside and then you only feel it every once and a while. As we trekked, others in the group were hit by the little demon plant as well. I even managed to almost fall face first into one on the way back down after sliding in the mud, but by the grace of God I caught myself and only stuck my hand in it. I wanted to cry. My middle finger got stuck with about six of them and it swelled and had little white bumps all over it. I thought it was an appropriate finger to sting based upon my feelings for this evil little plant.

Thankfully it was not raining on our hike because there was enough mud to begin with and many people in our group were slipping and falling down left and right. It was so beautiful and tranquil in the jungle. The trees are incredible. They are the kind of trees that you will only find in Africa. As we trek along I am once again reminded of God’s astonishing handiwork. The view of the town below is one that you usually only see from an airplane. As seeing as how we hiked to an elevation of over 9,000 feet we were almost to cruising altitude.

We finally caught up to the trekkers, the guys that search the jungle before the groups go up in an effort to find the gorillas location, and then they radio the guides their location. Once there we were instructed to leave everything but our cameras, money, passports, and any other article of value behind. We walked to a clearing and there they were! Our family consisted of Charles the silverback, his three wives, and his four children. Apparently Charles skipped over the part where God said man should only have one wife, but none the less he feels he has something to prove to the other gorillas in the region. Charles was lounging in the sun while two of the babies chased each other around in circles and then started wrestling with each other. One of the babies was with its mama just hanging out in the brush and the other baby, affectionately named “Nakebazo” , which means “No Problem” in Kinyarwanda, was climbing in a little tree. Our guide said we were lucky because not only was the whole family together, but they were in an open space where we could see them and they were actually interacting with each other. They were extraordinary! Every once awhile they would stand up and bang on their chest and make gorilla noises and the guides would make this gorilla noise to them telling them that we are friends. They would run around and stop and almost pose for us. One of the babies even decided to sit and pick his teeth for us. We were so close to them. Seeing a gorilla in the wild as opposed to the zoo behind a glass wall is so different. They just seem so friendly you just want to lay down with them and cuddle them. After about thirty minutes or so they decided to leave and search for more food. So we followed them up the mountain a little more and watched them play and eat. When one of the mothers started leaving a baby jumped on her back and they took off together. We even walked past a baby who was separated from the group and it was sitting there crying for its mother. It was so sweet. We were only allowed to spend an hour with them and then we had to leave, so I took over 200 pictures of them and we started back down the volcano. The really cool thing about being on a volcano is that you can see the top of it from where we were. Although it is a dormant volcano I was still willing to hike three more hours up to the top of it to see it.

The hike down, although faster as it only took about a hour, was just as slippery if even more since we were descending a steep mountain. Even more people we slipping and falling, I have to admit I was excited about the fact that I was the only person not to fall, until Shawn reminded me that pride comes before the fall and then I slipped. I tried to not to completely hit the ground so I popped right back up but it was still funny. It was the second slip that I was almost taken out by the demon plant and then I made sure not to slip again.

By the time we made it all the way down and back to the car we were all filthy dirty and muddy. My very Olympic looking Nike’s were now black with mud but it was well worth it. We headed over to the lodge and had lunch before we headed back to the city. Pastor Rick asked me how I enjoyed it and I said it was unbelievable. He told me that we are a group of only 100,000 people out of the 6 billion in the world that has even seen the gorillas. That is just astounding! It was such an amazing day and one I will never forget. I am so blessed to have been able to experience this.

Pick Up Your Cross

2008-04-04T08:56:00.000-07:00

As an outsider looking in on the refugees the biggest problems they face is not only poverty, but also a lack of motivation to leave the camp. There are three generations living there and yet they have become so dependant on the aid that they receive there that they have no reason to leave. They are safe there. Do we not do this in our own lives? We get comfortable and feel safe somewhere and therefore we do not want leave? Sometimes its leaving home and getting out on our own, or sometimes is a relationship that we stay in for security when we know its not what we really want. We stay in a job that is not fulfilling to us because we have become dependant upon the financial or job security. We ignore that voice inside of us that tells us to get out. To move on and take on the new adventure that God has in store for us. He speaks to us and moves something within our hearts and yet we ignore it. We push it aside and pretend that it is not there or we think that we are doing something wrong by even thinking about listening to the voice of God, most likely because we do not recognize that he is speaking to us. We think it is our subconscious going crazy or that we are being tempted away from our daily routine. But that is exactly what it is, routine. We get ourselves stuck in these situations and do not allow ourselves or our hearts to break free. We just sit and fester only to become unhappy and depressed. Is this the life God called us to lead? Is this what is making Him happy? Are we honoring Him by living an unfulfilled life that is not in obedience to him?

Sometimes we Christians think that by going to church and reading our Bibles that we are honoring God. Sometimes, we as people truly believe that by leading a “good” life and being nice to people we will gain entrance into heaven. If I am good enough then God will let me in because God would never condemn a good person. And sometimes we think that because we grew up in church, we know about God and therefore we can lead whatever kind of life we want to, and when we die God will still let us in because we “know” who he is. Sorry, but that’s just not the case. God doesn’t want robots who go to church every Sunday and read their Bible every once and a while and do nothing else. He never said that just being a “good person” will get you a golden ticket into his kingdom, and he certainly does not condone a lifestyle of man-pleasing and self-pleasing just because you “know” who he is. Just because you went to church and know what Jesus did does not mean that you “know” God. In fact if you are living in any of these ways then you truly do not know God.

A person that knows God listens to his voice when he speaks, obeys His commands when given, and does not conform to the ways of this world. The Christ follower is not afraid to go out into the world and make new believers. They are not afraid to leave the current situation of comfort or security to do what God has called them or is leading them to do. The true Christian gets up and follows. He picks up his cross and follows the Lord just as he instructed.

Rwandans are not the only people that have joy. I’ve said before that many of us just have happiness and not joy, because joy comes from within and many of us are empty inside. However, there are many of you that truly do have joy despite your suffering. The people are Rwanda have suffered so much, but so have many of us. We all have hurts and pains and have lost hope. But the lesson that I have learned from the people here is not to be selfish with our hurts. When bad or horrendous things happen to us we are allowed to hurt, but we cannot shut God out. We have to lean on him. Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall”. Do you push God away or blame him for your hurts? Do you think that a just and loving God would never allow this pain to come into your life? If so, you are wrong. God allows pain and suffering to come into our lives because he is a just and loving God. He knows what we can take and he allows us to hurt to see if we are going to depend upon him. To test us to see if we will cast our cares on him. Just because we hurt does not mean that he does not hurt with us. Our pain is his pain and he will help us and he will heal us as long as we rejoice in him through it all. Having joy comes from God, no matter what. So pick up your cross and follow him!

Do not conform to the world or your society because it makes you look good to others around you. Do not be so consumed with money and status. That gets us nowhere! The only thing we can take with us when we die is our salvation. That’s it! All the riches in the world will go to waste after you are gone. I heard a disturbing thing in a magazine once, which is probably why I avoid them now. But I heard that Oprah who is worth $50 billion or something ridiculous like that is giving half of her money to her two dogs! What is a dog that she will probably outlive do with $25 billion? Money is really nothing. We need it to live but many of use need it to live way beyond our means in an effort to man-please. God never said live your life to the fullest. Go party, make money, and make a name for yourself! No! He said “Go and make disciples of all nations” (Matt 28:29). He told us to honor him and obey him. He tells us to listen to him when he calls to us. To open the door when he knocks. If you feel that God has left you or abandoned you, you are wrong. He is right where YOU left him. All you have to do is turn around and find him. He says, “You will seek me and you will find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jer. 29:13). So don’t be afraid, listen to that voice, and rejoice in the Lord Always!

The Congo Refugees

2008-04-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

Well we survived the night, with hardly any sleep. When I opened the door to our room this morning to walk outside I was shocked! It was absolutely breathtaking! The view of the lake where our “hotel, motel, holiday inn” sits in incredible! I felt like I was in Fiji or some exotic island. I could not believe it! The pictures hardly do it justice.

We met Skip and his family for breakfast down by the water and then we all took off to the hotel golf to meet with Steve’s team and then we headed for the refugee camp. The drive was beautiful once again and when we arrived the camp was huge! There are three generations of refugees now living at the camp. There were people everywhere. We drove up by a little church named “Deliverance Church of Jesus Christ” and our vans were swarmed, the kids were everywhere. We unloaded the vans and brought all the supplies into the church. Once inside the church it quickly filled up, Pastor Joseph and the president of the camp spoke to us. She was so emotional and filled with joy that we had come to the camp to visit and show that we care about the refugees she had a hard time speaking. Just the little effort it took to bring supplies and aid from home and then to spend a couple hours with the people really touched them. All that people really need is to know that someone cares about them. That they are not alone and that they are loved by people around the world.

We had some more worship time and some different choirs came up and sang and then the leaders of the church ministry and the camp were introduced. Pastor Joseph explained to us that their church had started with just 7 people standing outside under a little tent. The did not have a building and many of the other refugees would laugh at them and make fun of them. So they prayed that their church would grow and today they have a building with full house every service including children’s ministries.

Steve played a game with the kids called Twanga Twanga and then presented them with a soccer ball. He also went through the supplies that their team had brought for the people there. He explained that he was entrusting the supplies with Pastor Joseph and he would be the one to hand them out to the people in the church, since he knew which families really needed what. He then delivered a message of hope and encouragement for the people there.

I walked outside after we were all done inside and started talking to some of the kids. Two of the boys there spoke English really well. They asked me if we brought Bibles for them. I explained to them that we tried to but there weren’t enough Bibles for us to get to bring to the church. I asked them if they could read English as well as they speak it. They told me they could and so I went and got my little Bible (thanks Molls!) from the car. I wrote a message for them on the inside of the Bible and handed it to them, after making them promise me that they were going to share it and read it with anyone that wanted or needed to hear the word of God. They agreed once more and I gave it to them along with a highlighter, which they were pretty excited about. So please pray that those boys will grow strong in their walk with the Lord and not only that they would be a blessing, but that God would utilize them to mobilize and to teach other His word.

After the camp we left and headed back to the Bethanie where we checked out only to find that we paid more for dinner the night before at this guest house than we did the room! Which made the three of us laugh. We had lunch and then went over to the hospital for a tour. This hospital in Kibuye is the where the PEACE Plan health initiative is being implemented. Unfortunately though a member of Steve’s team was not feeling well and was taken there to be checked out so we didn’t tour the hospital because we had to leave early. The nurse wanted to check him out and make sure he was alright (which he is) before she gave us the tour. It seems to be a decent hospital for Rwanda, as it is only 1 of 4 in the country, 3 of which I was able to see.

Arthur gave us a ride back to Kigali and where we have never been so thankful to be back in our guest house!

Trippin on Malerone In Kibuye

2008-04-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

Today the girls and I headed out to Kibuye with Steve’s team. It is by Lake Kivu which is huge! It borders Congo and I believe Uganda as well. We met Steve’s team at their hotel in the morning only to find out that they had no room for us in their vans due to all the supplies/aid they were bringing with them. So thankfully I made arrangements with Skip the night before to ride up with them. So I asked Isaiah to take us to Skip’s hotel to drop off our bag with Jean Marie, who is now his driver, and then we waited at Bourbon for a couple hours. Skip and his family met us there for lunch and then we headed out for the 2 ½ hour drive to the lake.

The drive was gorgeous! The countryside of Rwanda is incredibly beautiful. I can take pictures but you really cannot get the gist of it unless you see it for yourself. Fortunately there is a newly paved road out there but unfortunately the road curves winds the mountain and then back down. Which made a few of us nauseated. We finally got there and Jean Marie took us to our guest house only to discover that it was under construction. We took one look at it and Skip and Lara said you are absolutely not staying here. So we piled back into the van and headed to the Bethanie where they were staying. They only had a room for tonight and they were full for the next night. So we check a couple other places including the Hotel Golf. At the golf we found Steve and his team eating dinner. Apparently they had trouble with their original guest house and after about 2 hours of dealing with them they checked into the Hotel Golf and missed their appointment at the refugee camp. So we were grateful that we missed their chaos and arrived later with Skip and his family. The golf was full until I explained to Steve what was going on and they somehow found 2 open rooms for us. Imagine that! We go upstairs to check out our rooms and that was an adventure in itself. First of all you do not want to climb or descend these stairs if you are medicated, intoxicated, or even just plain tired. If there is no light, just stay where you are till morning. They are stairs of death! Steep, small, and not the easiest to maneuver on. We check out the rooms and discover that the bathrooms are shared. Its hostel style. You get your own roll of toilet paper and your towel and you wait your turn to use either facility down the hall from your room. The rooms were funky smelling of mildew and dead bugs, and had drilled holes in the walls for who knows what purpose; peeping tom’s or your new best friends the cockroaches and mosquitoes. So I said we are out of here. I thanked Steve profusely for his efforts to find us two rooms that had magically come available and he said he completely understood and to go back to the Bethanie. So that’s exactly what we did.

We check in and which consisted of the lady just handing us a key. They girls asked if we needed to fill anything out and she just said I guess and handed them a piece of scratch paper and they wrote down Jade, Caroline, and Brit Frickety. We got to our room and it was humble accommodations but a world of difference compared to where we had just come from so we were content. The hotel had a buffet dinner prepared for all the Saddleback people that were going to be there (the next day) but there was enough of us there that night to enjoy it all to ourselves. We ate dinner with all the geckos and headed back to our room. We all took a shower…let me clarify, separately, not together and went to bed. Jade and I opened out mosquito nets only to discover that the mosquitoes had already eaten through them. They were brown in come places and came fully equipped with band aids all over them, so we tied them back up and decided we’d be safer without them. After laying on our beds for about 5 minutes and hearing the mosquitoes flying around Caroline says, I think we should put deet on. The three of us in unison just about said oh ya and jumped out of bed. So we put our bug repellent on ourselves and slept with the poison that we had just washed off ourselves instead.

Well now it is about 2am, and I am laying there on my wood plank of a bed with a rock for a pillow thinking that it would have been more comfortable to camp it outside and wishing I had Shawn’s sleeping bag to zip up over my head after swatting away my new friend mosquey, my affectionately named, malaria-infected pet mosquito that insisted on checking out my face in the dark. All of a sudden I start feeling really sick. Maybe it was the anorexic chicken I ate or maybe it was the malerone that I had just taken to prevent mosquey from infecting me, but either way I was extremely nauseous. So I am staring at the dark ceiling unable to sleep, praying that God would make me feel better and I get up to go into the bathroom, just in case, when my cell phone rings. Its Shawn calling to check up/in since his phone had been dead the last few hours cause I had the charger to our phones. So I am trying to run to get my phone in the dark, and you know when you are trying to be quiet and you end up making a bunch of noise? Well I brought a stampeded of elephants in with me and I just started laughing at how noisy I had just been in my effort to be silent. I grabbed my phone and walked outside to talk to him. He was still up working and was about to head home and go to bed. After I got off the phone with him I tried to go back to sleep. I finally fell asleep with the sheet over my head as my protective anti-mosquito eating my face off barrier.

I fall asleep around 2:30am and have another tripped out dream. You see ever since I have been in Africa, every night after I take my Malerone I have the craziest dreams about African people. Apparently the nausea and the weird dreams are a wonderful reaction to avoiding malaria. Although I have never shared with you my insane dreams, today I will give you a little summary of it. Basically I was at the Bethanie when Pastor Rick and his crew arrived. We were checking in and someone handed me Shawn’s computer and cell phone because he had apparently left it somewhere. So after I got it I discovered that everyone had left me behind so I had to get a ride up the hill. This man picked me up in what I thought was a taxi and I drove by Shawn’s car. So I had him stop so I could put his stuff away and I saw little Mikey in the car wearing Mickey ears. He told me that Shawn had taken him to toon town (in Disneyland) and they were going back as soon as Shawn got back to the car. Anyways, I get back to the taxi and the driver had gone through my bag and had taken out my “clean blood kit” which is really just gloves and clean needles (in case something happens here and I need clean needles), but in my dream it contained actual vials of different blood types. Well this guy had set it up and was squirting the blood out of the needles everywhere. Well I got really mad and starting yelling at him saying “What is wrong with you? Are you crazy?”. Well he looks at me and pulls out a machete and says “Crazy? I’ll show you crazy!” So I quickly shut up and let him continue to drive me to the group. I get there find Shawn, tell him what happened and at some point I had to go back outside to throw something away. Well the guy was out there waiting for me and starting running after me with the machete trying to chop me up! I started running away yelling for Shawn to help me. Well I ended up waking myself up because I was yelling “Help Me!” out loud in my sleep. I woke up and I was crying so apparently it started while I was dreaming. When I realized that I was yelling in my sleep I started laughing. So I am now laughing and crying and then I hear Jade very softly say “Brittany are you ok?” and amidst my emotional and psychological confusion I finally realized what was going on. So needless to say while there are other malaria medications that will make you hallucinate, the Malerone gives you some pretty intense dreams.

African Beetle's on 40 Days of Purpose

2008-03-31T04:58:00.000-07:00

Well today is the big day. It is the day we have all been waiting for. It is the big stadium event and the launching of the 40 Days of Purpose Campaign in Rwanda. The girls and I met up with Steve’s team at about 12:30 and headed over to the stadium. Apparently when we got there some of the people were freaking out about the VIP passes into the stadium. We all had to have a pass to sit in our section, however the passes were not there. So all the people that were worried came to me for answers, of which I did not have any. So I made a call to Shawn and found out what was going on. Steve even came up to me and said, “I figure if anybody knows what’s going on here its you”. Interesting but I had no information at that particular moment. Eventually, we all got into the stadium just fine after going through a big security check.

We sat in our seats and we were seated in the section right above where all the dignitaries and Rick and Kay and President Kagame were going to be seated. We sat down only to discover we were also sitting with grasshoppers, cockroaches, and the biggest African beetle in the history of the world. Seriously I did not even know they came in this size. If I knew I could super size my beetle’s I would have just requested the small one’s. It was disgusting! The lady that was seating everyone would walk by the cockroaches and step on them and you could just hear them crunching under her feet. It was really appetizing. All we needed was a chocolate fountain and we could have had a delicacy in certain countries!

Well Rick and Kay and the rest of the White House and Rwandan government representatives and the Archbishop and other pastors and Shawn came in and sat down. Our group started yelling when Rick walked in and he waved to them appeasing their joyful yelps and frantic waving. Shawn invited me to come down and sit with them which I was really happy about since there were no nuclear sized beetle’s or cockroaches down there. They finally got started and President Kagame came in and sat down next to Rick. The had some opening speeches and prayers and then Rick got up and spoke. He spoke for about an hour or so on the Purpose Driven Life and explained what the 5 purposes are. The full stadium was really excited and they would clap and yell hallelujahs through out his speech. Then the President got up and spoke and they had a graduation ceremony for all the pastors that went through the PDL training. It was a pretty neat event. The stadium hold about 30,000 people and there was probably 20-25,000 people there. It was a free event to anyone in Rwanda.

We also found out that the 3 Rwandese girls from the other night had come to church this morning and they all came to Jesus! Including the Muslim girl! So Amy (Michael’s mom) gave them cross necklaces which they were super excited about. So after the event was over Floyd (a leader in the team) and I brought them over to Rick and told him their story. He was excited to hear it and gave them hugs and I took pictures of them with him. They had the biggest smiles on their faces!

It started raining and because this is Africa (TIA) the power went out. Well the Rwandan secret services guys just about broke down a glass door trying to get inside with a large flashlight to reach the President. They came storming past us and bolted upstairs to him. The power came back on and they walked him back downstairs past us and out him in his Mercedes and this cavalcade drove off. It is interesting to see how they protect their President compared to how we protect ours. They walk him right past us and get in the cars parked right out front of the stadium. We have secret entrances and multiple exits and nobody is allowed near him. And yet they walk him right past everyone (at least the VIP’s).

We said our goodbye’s and the team went back to their hotels and we of course, went back to Bourbon.

National Clean Up Day

2008-03-31T04:54:00.000-07:00

Today was the national clean up day so all businesses and roads are closed and every Rwandan is required to clean up the city. It starts at 8am and ends at 12 noon. It was difficult because no one is allowed to drive unless you have a special driving permit on this day. It caused a real problem for some of the staff who had to get to the airport to pick people up. Steve’s team was able to get the driving passes and made their way over to the Amahoro Stadium to do some clean up and prayer walking for the big event tomorrow. We were all stuck in the house until 1:00 because we could not get a ride anywhere.

Caroline, Jade, and I finally met up with the team at Bourbon around 3pm and went over to a church to hand out more shoeboxes. As usual the kids were on stage singing and dancing. There was a big sign on the top of the church wall that said “Discover Your Purpose Driven Life”. The kids were just as excited today to get the boxes as the kids were yesterday. I sat with some kids and we went through their boxes together. One little girl had chapstick in her box and we played dress up with the chapstick and her hair brush and hair clips (even through most Rwandan girls have shaved heads). She would copy everything that I did. She was so cute. I love seeing the excitement and joy in the children’s faces. They just get so overwhelmed with excitement. It is a pure joy and blessing to witness this.

Since we got a late start in the day this was our only activity. Our church visit was followed up by dinner at New Cactus which I was happy about until I found out they had pre-ordered all the pizzas and unfortunately they had chosen the worst pizzas on the menu. I should have just ordered my own, but needless to say I think I ate an entire one myself! HA! I don’t complain, I just take what I get and I’m totally happy!

Shawn was gone really late picking up Kay and Rick and all the media people from the airport. They all came in on different flights and one of the Fox guys didn’t make it. He stayed behind in another country because some of their sound equipment didn’t make the flight to Kigali. They are doing a documentary on the P.E.A.C.E. plan. He got back at about 2 am and was extremely tired and wet from being outside in the rain. He works so hard here, I am so proud of him.

Shoeboxes

2008-03-31T04:44:00.000-07:00

Since my team trip is now over I am on my own here in Rwanda. Not technically though. Jade, Caroline, and I are now teaming up with Steve R.’s team. They have a group of about 30 people and we are tagging along to document their trip since Jade and Carline are writing the P.E.A.C.E. blog for the church. Today we are going to a school called Kingdom to hand out the Samaritan’s Purse shoeboxes. It is so incredible to see the boxes being handed out to the children. Every year I make one but I never get to see where they go and today I was able to experience that.

When we got to the school the kids were all lined up and singing songs to us. It was their last day of school and all the parents were there for a celebration and to meet with their children’s teachers. They sang songs to us and performed dances and then Steve’s team sang a song to them. Steve told them about the shoeboxes that they all were going to get and took a box out. He brought up a little boy, looked inside the box and told him what was in there was really great and that he was going to love it! He had him stand in front of his school next to us and had him hold the box but he said he wasn’t allowed to look inside it.

Their team brought 4 soccer balls over to give to the kids so Steve asked for 2 girls and 2 boys to come up to the front. He took two of the Samaritan’s Purse boxes and set up boundaries as the goal and this man Michael was the goalie. Steve told the kids that he was the best goalie in the United States and possibly the world. He then told the kids that they had to kick the ball past the goalie and they would win the ball for their school, but if they missed, we would keep the ball. So the first kid comes up, he goes to kick the ball and Steve pushes the ball out of the way with his foot before he got a chance to kick it and the goalie drops to the ground in the fetal position. It was really funny. He then told the kid he needed to go get some advice on kicking the ball. He let him kick it again and when he did “the world’s best goalie” looked up the other direction and completely missed the block so they got to keep the ball. The next kid comes up and it is a girl. She proceeds to kick it and Steve moves it out of the way again. When he finally let her kick it, the goalie runs away. Everyone laughed and then he brought up a little boy to kick. But this time they used Michael’s son, little Michael as the goalie since he and the 2 kids kicking were about the same size. The exact same thing happened two more times. Needless to say they all won the balls for the school.

Now back to the little boy holding the shoebox, Steve finally allowed him to open the box, but only after Steve went though it first hiding it from the kids and making a really big deal out of it. Everyone laughed but the boy finally got his box of gifts. So they sent the kids to their classrooms and divided the boxes up by the particular age groups and we started handing them out. The top five kids in each classroom were rewarded with two shoeboxes and the rest of the kids all got one box. They were all so excited. They were jumping up and down and yelling and laughing. Comparing the gifts in their boxes and showing them all off. Most of the boxes contained candy and so many of the kids tried to share their candy with us. They are so sweet! Being so poor and having so little these boxes meant so much to them and they have such big hearts that they try and share what little they have with us. We all politely declined though but played with them and their new toys.

It was such an awesome thing to see the kids that get these boxes that we all put together every Christmas in the “Operation Christmas Child” drive every year. Seeing the other side of the boxes makes you want to make more and appreciate the little effort it took just to put one together. The candy was probably the biggest hit of all the things in the boxes but the soap and toothbrushes/toothpaste are vital since these children cannot afford to buy it themselves. So thank you to anyone and everyone that has put a box together for a child. It is a small token on our part but an overwhelming experience for the children on the other side of the world receiving it!

Flying Team, Flying Tea

2008-03-31T04:30:00.000-07:00

Today is my team’s last day in Rwanda. We started the morning with no electricity and no water so we had to “rough it” in the wild! We went back out on safari at 7 am after breakfast in the hotel. They have the most amazing mango juice that they serve there. It is so good!

This time our safari was down to the lake side. On the lake side is where the elephants, leopards, monkeys, and hippos are. I was on a mission to find the elephants and Robert was on a mission to find a leopard. To our dismay, we found neither. We did find a bunch of hippos and of course the impalas were everywhere. We drove around looking for the elephants but we never found them, sometimes the safari guides will go days without seeing them and then other times they will see a whole group of them. We did come across a hippo out of the water. I had to pee really bad and when we were taking pictures of the hippo I turned around and found a bathroom. So I excitedly grabbed the roll of toilet paper from the van and ran up the hill. Shawn and Caroline ran up there with me, Shawn for protective reasons and Caroline had the same problem I did. This bathroom was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. It had not been used in probably three or four years and whatever was festering inside of it just made me nauseous. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do. So I closed the door, held my breath and went for it. Being as careful as I could not to touch anything for fear of getting the herpasyphagonamalariaids. Yes, that’s right I said it. Anyways, shortly before I passed out from the smell I noticed that I was not in there alone, I was in there with 3-4 wasps, so I very very quickly ran out and that was the last time I will ever do something like that again. Next time I will just use the bush. It was pretty gross. Shawn thought that it was hysterical and decided to take pictures of me running out all grossed out. Caroline seeing how traumatic of an experience I just had, wisely decided to use the bush behind this wonderful non-flushing, clogged up hole of a little toilet instead. Needless to say it was an adventure.

Gaining no ground on the elephants we decided to visit the giraffes once more and then we went back to the lodge to have lunch and check out. The power was off once again, along with the water for a short time. But thankfully both came back on and my team was able to shower before we checked out.

We headed back to Kigali and once we got into the city we headed over to our church to say goodbye to our pastor once more. When we got there he had a gift for all of us. It was a personalized, framed, certificate of appreciation for everything we did with the church and it listed every activity we participated in. It was very special and something to remember our church here in Rwanda by.

After our final goodbye, dropped Caroline and Jade off at Bourbon Coffee and we headed to the P.E.A.C.E. office so my team could get their luggage. They repacked, loaded up the van and we took off to the airport. I said goodbye to my team and sent them on their way back home. Shawn and I went back to the P.E.A.C.E. office and picked up mine, Caroline, and Jade’s luggage and went to drop it off at the Presbyterian Guest House where we were going to be staying. Once we got there however, the team that was arriving that night, Steve’s big team of 30 had already taken up all of the rooms except for one room. This room however could only sleep two people, not three. So we decided to leave the luggage there and we would talk to Steve and try and switch rooms with two of the women on his team that had a bigger room. So we went back to the airport to meet Steve’s team that was arriving. Once we got there Jean Marie and I left to go back to Bourbon Coffee.

I got there, sat down, and ordered some tea. Trying to calm down from all of the excitement and running around from the day/night I was a little flustered and wound up. Sitting in Bourbon drinking my tea, the girls and I proceeded to be attacked by large dragonfly/moth looking bugs. Not knowing what they were and getting extremely annoyed that they were coming in from the patio doors that were open, and that they were flying all around us, Jade decides to take a pillow from the chairs we were sitting on and kill one. Seeing her brave gesture, Carline and I proceed to do the same. At one point I was sitting in my chair and one landed on my foot so I kicked my foot up in the air to shake it off of me and I ended up spilling tea on myself. So now I am getting really annoyed at these irritating African dragonfly/moths, and in an effort to show these things that I meant business I hold my pillow like it is a baseball bat and swing really hard at the next one that comes at me. Well being the extreme athlete that I am, I somehow miss the crazy African moth and end up hitting Caroline and Jade’s tea pot and cups, sending them flying across the room! Now, here at three muzungo’s (white people in Kinyarwanda) swinging large chair pillows around in a coffee shop filled with people at night and one of them throws a tea pot and two cups across the room. Tell me we did not cause a scene, I dare you! Jade turned around and just about bolted out of the room, Caroline, I have no idea where she ducked to, and I doubled over laughing in embarrassment. It was ridiculous! I felt so stupid. It was so funny we all had tears in our eyes from laughing so hard. Thankfully the tea pot and cup did not break but I did spill tea everywhere!!! The waiter came over and brought a couple napkins to clean it up. I felt so bad I kept apologizing and every time I’d apologize he’d say “it’s ok” and then he would apologize to me. So we helped him clean it up and when Shawn finally made it back to us we had to relive it all over again and tell him the story. We were crying again from laughing.

Jean Marie drove us all back to the Presbyterian but we now had a dilemma. We could not switch rooms with someone from the team that just arrived so we have to find somewhere else to stay. So we headed over to the Iris but they had no rooms either since Steve’s team has taken up the remainder of the rooms there as well. So now it is almost midnight, its raining, and we are homeless. The girls and I have no place to go. So Shawn makes an executive decision and brings us back to the house he is staying at. The people that live there are American’s and rent out the many rooms for people that come into town. We were scheduled to stay there anyways, but not for another week. And despite all the running around, it was well worth it. This place feels like home! It is really nice and more importantly it is CLEAN and has HOT WATER! Something we have not had since we have been here.

In Kigali there is dirt everywhere! It is all over the place and it stays with you. I mean it is so bad you will start coughing it up. So to be in a home where there is no dirt and you can actually walk around bare foot was such a blessing! I took a hot shower and all I could say was “PRAISE EM”!!! It was awesome! Plus my mattress is so comfy! I love it! So all in all it was a great day and a funny day to say the least!

Its Hailing Giraffes

2008-03-28T03:40:00.001-07:00

Well today we check out of the Amani and head out to Akagara to go on safari. Jean Marie came and picked me up from the Amani and we loaded up the van with all of the luggage and headed over to the PEACE office to drop it all off and pick up Shawn. We locked it up, headed back to the Amani, and picked up the team. We headed out to Akagara which is about a 2 ½ hour drive. Once we got out to the dirt road which is about 40 minutes from the lodge it started raining, and then it started really raining, and then it started hailing. It was hailing so loud we could not hear each other talk nor could we see anything! Jean Marie stopped the car and we waited out the hail. Once we could see again we kept driving down the road until we came to a tree that was lying in the middle of the road. The only way to get through it was to move the tree. There was another car that was trying to come the other direction that was sitting there waiting as well. So Shawn, Cindy, Phil, Jean Marie, and I all jumped out of the car and pulled the tree back. We could not actually move it because it was too heavy but we held it back while Jean Marie ran back to the van and drove through. We held it for the other car as well and once we were able to get back in the van it looked as though we had all jumped into the lake. To say we were soaked was a complete understatement.

We finally got to the resort and the rain had stopped and we checked into the lodge. We got our rooms only to find out that the power was out once again, but we dropped out stuff and headed out on safari. We picked up our guide and drove around for about and hour and a half. We saw lots of impalas, warthogs, zebras, buffalo, and the best thing was the giraffe’s. We drove pretty close to them and jumped out of the van taking pictures. We were able to get about 10 feet from them, it was incredible! We saw more animals but nothing that cool. Once it started getting dark we headed back to the lodge and settled in and ate dinner. We had a team debrief which was pretty good to reflect back on our week together and everything that we have seen, learned, and experienced.

The biggest thing for me was seeing how much these people love the Lord. Despite all of their poverty and emotional problems and sicknesses they have so much joy. Joy is something that comes from within. You cannot buy it and nobody can give it to you except the Lord. Most of us have happiness which is bought and temporary. We have so much and yet we are ungrateful, lazy and complain so much about things. The people here work so hard and yet they have so little. They are not as concerned with getting riches here on earth but rather the riches they will be given in heaven. Their main concern is survival, forgiveness, and worshipping the Lord. Christ is the center of everything here and it is amazing to see. Even the shop names say things like, Praise the Lord. I am not saying that all Americans or westerners are ungrateful, lazy, and complain, but the majority of us do. I know that I do it. It is because we get so caught up in our society and man pleasing that we forget what is truly important. We forget that we do not need to be rich or have such earthly wealth, but that we need the love and joy that only God can give us and to reflect that love and joy on the people around us. Making new believers and being Christ-like. That is what our focus should be on. Not on making lots of money so we can gain status on earth, but being a Christ follower and then being rich in heaven. By accepting the blessings and the hurts that come from the Lord, we too can be joyful despite our hurts and pains and struggles here on earth. This life is so short. Where is your focus? Is it temporary, just focused on the few short years that we will spend here? Or is it eternal? Focusing on spending our eternity in heaven with the Lord, enjoying the riches that he will give us when that day comes.

Saying Goodbye

2008-03-28T03:37:00.000-07:00

Today is our last day with our church. In the morning we met with the President of the church and he gave us the outline and the goals of the Church’s five year plan. Everything that they have set forth is completely in line with what the PEACE plan suggests. They started it back in 2006 and it is still going on today. After our meeting we went across the street to visit the school kids. They were so excited to see us!

We all piled into the van and went to see the Friends Peace House. This is a house that counsels people that were affected by the genocide. They counsel widows, genocide orphans, prisoners, prisoners that are released and the prisoners wives. They team the prisoners wives with the widows so that they may counsel each other and get answers. The wives have to go to their husbands and ask them if they are willing to ask for forgiveness from the widowers, if they wish to ask, the wives will usually only grant forgiveness if the prisoners are able to answer some of the questions they have, along with telling them where their loved ones are buried. When a prisoner is released, they have to go through a counseling process either from the friends peace house, or other similar peace houses.

After our visit to the Peace House, we went back to the church and the school has a dance group that was going to perform for us. The girls and boys started out by singing a few songs and then the girls did some traditional African dancing for us. They were really cute. They pulled my team up to dance with them for a little bit while I video taped them. They were so intrigued by the fact that my computer could video tape them and they could see themselves.

We then proceeded to Bourbon Coffee so we could all get lunch. Shawn was there and after lunch, Darwin left to go preach PDL on the radio. After he was done, Pastor Gasparrd, Darwin, and Augustine came back to Bourbon to pick us up.

We left to visit two of the groups connected with the church that teach people how to read. It was great to see these two different groups of people sitting in this little room facing a chalkboard learning to read, children and adults. On the way back to the church from the second group visit we saw the ladies from the basket making group. They were really excited to see us again, as we were excited to see them again too. We visited with them for a few minutes and prayed for them once again. On the way out this little boy kept jumping on the back of the van, Jean Marie kept stopping and he would jump off but by the third or forth time Jean Marie stopped the car really fast, got out and chased him down. The kid got scared and Jean Marie and the pastor took him to the side of the car and talked to him, I think Jean Marie even spanked him. It was pretty funny.

We headed back to the church for a farewell. Pastor Gasparrd had a group of people there that we had met throughout the week. Phil got up and preached to them and then we were asked to stand before everyone as a team. I told them that we were sad to leave them all. That each one of them had touched us in such an incredible way. We had come to Rwanda to teach them, but they had actually taught us. I explained that they showed us that no matter what was going on in our lives we could still have joy. That joy is something that comes from within and happiness is only an outside thing. We do not need happiness to experience joy, and that is what they had and we needed more of. They have so much joy and live for Jesus and it was such a blessing to see that. After I spoke to them, they all gathered in a circle around us and held hands and prayed for us. It was incredible. It was such an awesome God moment. You could feel the love they had for us and the love of Christ in that room. They were God’s protective hedge surrounding us.

Afterwards, we headed to Pastor Gasparrd’s house for dinner. He lives on church property. The dinner was a feast and it was delicious. We talked for a while and then Augustine shared his testimony with us. What an incredible testimony he has. When he was a child his father told his mother that he is not his son and that she needed to go find his father. So when he was 2 years old, she took him to the northern part of the country and dropped him off with his great grandmother. They did not want him either but because of the situation they took him in. He was raised with a family that was not only suffering from extreme poverty, but also did not accept him as family. He was not able to pay for school, but he would hang around the school and ask the teacher if he could attend. They let him in but he could not afford the books. They even told him that he wasn’t good enough to attend the school. In 1994 as he was about to graduate from secondary school the genocide happened and his entire family was killed. He was not able to finish school then so he fled to the forest and joined the army. He was a driver for the soldiers was therefore protected from being killed.

After the genocide was over and life started moving on he met a pastor from the Friends Church in Kigali. When the pastor asked him what he could do he said he could play the guitar and the piano. So the pastor asked him if he would like to come to his church and lead the worship. He agreed and they paid for him to come down. Once he started working at the church and saved enough money he bought a car, but he did not take the test to get a driver’s license. Instead he paid a cop some money and he gave him a license. He was pulled over one day and the cop said that his car was involved in an accident that killed 2 people, which wasn’t true. When the cop tried to pull up his license in the system he could not find it listed. So he asked him where he got his license and Augustine told him that he paid a police officer and got one. Because of this and the fact that he was being accused of being in the accident, he was arrested and put in jail. Once he was in jail he had many of the genocide prisoners trying to make him their “wife”. He met a man who had a great deal of power and influence not only in jail, but also during the genocide and was now involved in the prison ministry. He asked Augustine where he came from and what he was doing and once he told him that he was working for the church, the man offered him protection on the basis that he would also work for the prison ministry. His cell mate was also a man that was in the prison ministry and he knew English. So Augustine started taking English lessons from this man. He learned everything he could while he was in prison. People from the church would come and visit him at times and bring him food. Anything that he received he gave either to the man that was protecting him or to the man that was teaching him English. His sentence was only for 6 months but because their court system takes so long because of all the genocide prisoners, he could not get a court date any sooner. In order to be released from prison you have to go before the court, confess your crime and ask for forgiveness. Even some of the genocide prisoners that are actually innocent have to ask for forgiveness unless it can be completely proven that they actually were not involved. You see if someone from a particular household is involved in the killings, it is assumed that others in the household are involved as well and all are arrested.

Once he was released from prison he went back to working for the church, however the pastor that was there was no longer working there. Instead it was Pastor Gasspard. He allowed Augustine to come back to work and to live on the church property once again. He began teaching English to people and started making more money that way. He wanted to go to college but the college that he wanted to go to said they could not offer him a degree because he did not finish secondary school. They allowed him to come to class anyways and study even though he would not receive a degree. He began studying computers and after the first week he was excelling above the rest of the students. They began asking him for help and he began teaching them. Because of this, the rich students that had their own cars would pick him up for school and take him back home in return for his help. He has now started his own computer company and still works out of the church. He teaches English and still helps with the worship in the church. He has his own house on the church property and he is getting married in August. He has come such a long way and he is so thankful to the Lord for everything that he has. He compares his life in prison to that of Paul’s when he was in prison he was protected by the Lord, just as Augustine was in prison and was also protected by the Lord.

After dinner we said our goodbye’s and went back to the Amani. It was an incredible day.

A New Church; A New Hope

2008-03-28T03:33:00.000-07:00

This day started with us going to the church at 9 for a meeting with the HIV/Aids and support groups that we met earlier in the week, along with many members of the church. Pastor Gasparrd spoke to them for a while telling them some of the proverbs from the Bible on poverty and what Jesus said to do about it rather than begging. Afterwards, Phil got up and spoke on how much the mean to all of us and how God cares and we care about them. Then Robert spoke on PDL for a little bit. After that I gave them the Jesus film to watch in their own language.

We left the church and went to Bourbon again for lunch. Shawn met us there while he waited for Andrew to show up for a meeting and we ran into some of the Saddleback staff over here. Robert left to meet Augustine and Pastor Gasspard at the radio station where he was going to talk about PDL. He spoke on the radio for an hour after which we picked him up from the radio station and drove out to “Geetaramo” to visit one of the sister churches of the Friends Church. It would normally take about an hour to drive out there except for the fact that we had to stop at a bank for Augustine to make a transaction. Since this was a little bank outside of town and everything is done by hand, what would have only taken ten minutes in the States took almost forty minutes here. While we were waiting I was journaling in the van, to my surprise my screen was being read by one of the local boys to the other three boys standing with him. I kept closing the computer and they would just laugh. The boy that could read English started flirting with me. Trying to give me the “eyes” which was funny on the one hand, but disturbing on the other since he was only about 14 years old. We finally arrived at the little church that was still being built. They were putting in a baptism pool, but it was basically just a large mud hole in the ground that was very deep and not very wide. We visited there for about fifteen minutes and then headed back since we did not have a lot of time left. As we drove back, we drove past a genocide memorial. I wanted to go and visit it, but because the main building was still under construction the only way to go in was to have papers authorizing the visit by the local government. So I just took pictures from the car. We just drove by “Bar Happyness” and “Club Spic”. There is obviously no western influence here at all!

Our goal was to be back to Kigali by 5:00 because the Rwanda film festival was happening and tonight they were showing a film on the genocide called “Shake Hands With the Devil”. I did not think we were going to make it in time so I called Caroline and Jade and told them to go ahead and leave Bourbon and head over to the hotel where it was being shown, which was a couple blocks away. However a few minutes after I made the call, we were back in Kigali. So rather than heading back to our church to drop off Augustine and Pastor Gasspard, I asked Jean Marie to drop us off at the Hotel de Milles Collines (Hotel of a thousand hills), the hotel were the movie Hotel Rwanda took place. We got there before the girls and were met by a few people from Saddleback, including Catherine from the plane. About ten minutes later Caroline and Jade walked in with Shawn. The movie that was supposed to start at 5:30 didn’t end up starting until a little after 7:00 because they were having trouble getting the big inflatable screen to blow up. So instead they brought in a big retractable screen to show the movie on. Jade and Caroline left because they were too tired and Darwin left because he wanted to prepare for his speech on the radio. The movie was incredible. It was a take on the Genocide from the point of view of the General that was stationed here in Kigali from the UN. I would highly recommend it to everyone.

Easter on my Birthday

2008-03-28T03:31:00.000-07:00

Well today is not only my birthday, but more importantly it is Easter. And as we celebrate the resurrection of Christ and the blood he spilt to save us, I am reminded of how truly blessed I am. I am blessed to have the family I have, the friends I have and the life that I have been given.

We spent Easter in our church. A traditional African service that lasts about 3-4 hours. It consists of lots and lots of singing and dancing. The people are so joyful when they sing and dance just praising Jesus as Lord. During the service I was asked to introduce our team and tell them the reason as to why we are here. I explained to them that we are here to love them and to prepare them for 40 days of purpose which they will start next week. After which, Phil gave a greeting and Cindy gave her testimony. Later on in the service I stood up and preached the sermon. Having never done anything like that before, my nerves were off the Richter scale to say the least. Which is interesting considering the amount of public speaking I do! It was supposed to be 30 minutes long, with me speaking for about 15 minutes and with the translator speaking behind me it totals about 30 minutes. However, because I was nervous I spoke for about 10 minutes at a maximum. It may have even been shorter. I don’t know how the people received what I said, nor do I know if what I said was any good. My team and Shawn said it was, but they could have just been being nice. ;-) Regardless, it was a blessing to be able to share the crucifixion and the resurrection with the Rwandese even if it wasn’t one of my better speeches!

After church my team and Shawn and I had lunch back at our apartment with some undercooked chicken and the world’s best pineapple. We then had a meeting with our pastor back at our church where he explained to us the five giants within his church and community, as the PEACE plan asks them to identify and seek solutions to. Part of our job here is to help the church identify their giants and help them come up with solutions. However, our pastor is such an amazing leader and so motivated to help his church and community grow and heal that he not only had the solutions, but he has them in place and they are working! One of his giants for example is illiteracy, he has set up a program within his church where people within the community can come and take reading classes, free of charge, and they have a graduation ceremony where they receive a certificate of literacy. He is so motivated to bring hope and healing and growth to not only his church but also the community, it is so refreshing to see. He is willing to do whatever it takes to see a change in Rwanda and her people.

After the meeting we drove just a little ways down the road to see this church that was started by small group of 26 people. They built the church and now they have over 100 members not counting their children (which would total for over 200). The church itself was beautiful with a winding pathway up to the church and a large garden.

The road to get there however was horrid! It was an experience that none of us will ever forget. If you have ever been on the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland you will have a very slight understanding of what the drive to this church was like. It is a bumpy dirt road and because it was raining all night and all day it was very muddy. There are large gutters on either side of the road that were about 3-4’ wide and at least 5-6’ deep (in the smallest parts). Bouncing up and down on the road and sliding back and forth in the mud was an F-ticket ride for sure! At one point when I slammed up against the window and by the grace of God our van stopped right before the back tire slipped into the big gutter I yelled “this I way more than an E-ticket ride!” My big 2” binder came into good use as I used it for a head shield….you know me and my helmets! HA! But we survived, white knuckled and white faced we came out alright.

Shawn and Arthur met us for dinner up at New Cactus for dinner. Once again it was amazing. The restaurant sits on top of this hill and overlooks Kigali. It is so beautiful up there. You sit outside and the food is amazing. Christophe our server, a friend of Shawn’s took care of us again. Arthur made me a birthday card on the computer with my picture on the front that says “Happy Birthday Brittany Frick”. He wrote me the sweetest message and had a picture of Shawn and I on the inside. Erick from the PEACE office here in Rwanda called to wish me a Happy Birthday as well. It was awesome. Even though it didn’t feel like my birthday, probably because it felt more like Easter, which it should, or maybe because my brother forgot to call me! Of course until my mom quickly called to reminded him. Regardless the day was amazing and I am grateful to have been given the opportunity to not only spend my birthday in Rwanda, but more importantly Easter.

The Memorial

2008-03-28T03:27:00.000-07:00

Today we visited the Genocide Memorial. It was indescribable to see what these people went through here. There are mass graves there that hold 258,000 bodies and yet more are still being exhumed. There are many graves still that have not even been discovered. To see the bones, skulls, clothes, and weapons that are set up to be observed in the memorial in makes your stomach turn to realize how much evil is really in the world. You see pictures of the dead when they were still alive and read stories about the babies and how they were killed. Some by being smashed against a wall, others were macheted while in their mothers arms. Still others were shot in the head. The women were raped and tortured and the men were slashed and left to die, but alive enough that they suffer for days before they are then killed.

All of this because of a socio-economic society falsely determined by the Belgium government many years before. The Hutu people were told they were the superior race while the Tutsi people were looked upon as the lower class. In an effort to wipe out the Tutsi, the Hutu made a 10 commandments for themselves stating things such as, if a Hutu marries a Tutsi then he is a traitor. They used propaganda to create hate and build a silent killer. When you think about it we have this in America. The whites are the superior race while the blacks are not. If you think about it we are all Americans. Why are the whites Americans but the black are African Americans? They are not from Africa. Their ancestors are. If they are from Africa then they are African. But they are from America so they should be called Americans. I do not walk around calling myself an Irish/German American. I am an American. Physical differences is what separated the Hutu and the Tutsi. The Belgium government said the Hutu were better looking, had smaller noses, and heads, and were more intelligent. This was not true though. Do we not feel the same way about the blacks in America compared to the whites? We are creating the same environment Rwanda had that lead to the genocide just 14 years ago.

After the memorial we went to Bourbon Coffee. Rwanda’s version of Starbuck’s. We had lunch, emailed, and I was able to spend a short time with Shawn. We then went back to our church to visit two of the Church’s support groups. I spilt my team in half, taking Jade, Cindy, and Robert with me and Caroline, Phil, and Darwin went with Augustine to the other group. It was in this village that seemed pretty remote. We had to drive down the dirt road that was not smooth at all. It was surprising that we made it down and back. The support group that we met meet together and make baskets and clothes to make money. They are faced with such extreme poverty that it is their only way of brining in an income. The women’s group makes the baskets and clothes and then men’s group grows and sells crops. They use each other for emotional support working through their issues and learning to trust each other and depend upon each other. They have a common fund of money that they have put together. They use the money if one of their kids gets sick or if they have to help pay for one of the kids in the group to go to school.

The problems that they have is that the women do not have a big enough market to make a great deal of money. Sometimes they do not even make enough money to pay for the supplies to make their baskets. The men do not have a building to store their crops. Where other crop sellers charge more at first when the crops are ripe and then less as time passes by, they have to sell for less right away. They said that they could build the building themselves, they just need money to buy the land and the roof. When I asked them how much it would cost they said it is $2000 US. Their issues is that they do not make enough money to save enough to buy the land and the roof. So before we left them the four of us bought all their baskets and Cindy and I bought a skirt. They were so excited!

On the way back to the van we walked about a mile up the road and the kids were so excited to see us. They kept asking me to take their picture and show them. I had about 30 kids following me just cracking up and telling me to take pictures of everything! For people that suffer from such extreme poverty and emotional hurts they are the most joyful people. It sure puts us Americans and our fake happiness to shame.

Friend's Church on Good Friday

2008-03-28T03:24:00.000-07:00

Today we checked out of the Presbyterian guest house and went to the genocide memorial but it was closed because today is Good Friday. We then proceeded to the PEACE offices which were also closed. So we came to our apartment here in Kigali and checked in. It has 7 bedrooms which is perfect since we have 7 people on our team. After we got settled in we went back to the PEACE office and met the assistant pastor of our church here in Rwanda and had a an orientation meeting with “Little Erick”, the Rwandan man that works at the office. After our meeting we went and had lunch at “New Cactus”, a beautiful restaurant on top of a hill. The food was excellent! From there we went with our assistant pastor Wilson and our translator Augustine to the church. It is a beautiful church with a school. We met the HIV/AIDS group there that makes baskets and linens to raise money to fund AIDS research. The men and women there working were so grateful to have us come in. Some of the people in the group did not come today to see us because they are still ashamed that they have AIDS and did not want us to see them. I held this precious little girl for a while and hugged each one of them. They are such loving people. We then met a group of genocide orphans that work in the school learning English and how to sew pants. They work there for one year and then they leave the school and go to work. We then met a lady from the church that runs a small group. We walked to a little house and met some people there that she reads to. They wonderful as well, just so joyful and happy to be worshipping the Lord. We left there and proceeded to drive to the next group. This one was interesting because the drive there was very rough. The van was all over the place. Thanks to Jean Mary though we were able to get there safely. We walked to the tiny house, with mud floors and pieces of fabric separating the other 2 rooms and no electricity or windows, and we were followed by lots of beautiful smiling children all of whom spoke French. When we arrived at the house the people inside were singing and clapping their hands in joyful praise to the Lord. We prayed together and sang together. These people have so little but have so much joy in their hearts and love for the Lord. Their faith is so rock solid despite everything that they have gone through. The kids there are orphans and the woman was a widow. But they say that God is the father to the children and that he is the husband to the widows. Despite everything they have been through they still find happiness and joy in the Lord. It was such a blessing to meet all of them and share our love for Christ with them in worship and prayer.

The Fever in the Back of the Plane (In Brussels)

2008-03-20T00:55:00.000-07:00

We are here in Brussels and I have a fever and I am feeling terrible. I need lots of prayer that this would go away.

Our flight left at 8:10 am from Los Angeles to Dulles on March 19, 2008.

I arrived at our gate an hour early and no one from my team was there. It made me nervous up until 5 minutes before we boarded and I finally saw them. Apparently they were in the Red Carpet club relaxing before the flight, until they discovered that Darwin forgot his immunization record. They had to call and make sure that Rwandan customs would allow a faxed copy and then they had Hazel, his wife fax it over. While I was sitting there I met Catherine, she is on staff at Saddleback and she was flying over with us. We ate lunch in Dulles and boarded our flight to Brussels. My team was upgraded to business class while I sat in the economy (not economy plus) section of the plane. My crappy seat was actually a blessing in disguise because I sat next to a man named Murick. He is from Europe, living in Austin, TX but moving back to Germany to live by his parents. He owns a construction business in Austin and has had a rough life to say the least. We started talking about the books we were reading. I was reading Purpose Driven Life and he was reading Put on your party pants…which is a book about learning to live life to the fullest. I laughed and noted on how our books were completely different. I started telling him what PDL was about and then handed him a little book called “What on earth am I here for”, the mini version of PDL. He started reading it and told me how much he liked it. He said as soon as he could find a PDL book he was going to buy it.

Raised a Catholic by his parents, he joined the Soviet army and because of the communist country was not allowed to leave the country nor the army. In an effort to regain his freedom, he and 2 other soldiers planned an 8 month escape. To be caught crossing the soviet border meant death. He turned his eyes away from God and started worshipping the devil. He hated God and wanted whatever power the enemy could give him. He told satan that if he would give him whatever he wanted then satan could take him at age 40. Well he is 43 now and still living. When he moved to Austin he snapped his Achilles tendon and was out for 8 months. He was not able to do anything because of the crutches. Because of this a friend from Austin asked him to join him for church. The friend attends a non-denominational Christian church. So he went and 4 years ago he asked for forgiveness from God. He says he realizes what he has done and says the only explanation that he has for why he is still alive and not in prison is because of God. He does not know why God kept him alive and safe all these years he was doing “very bad things”, as he says, but he says he wishes to find out one day. In hearing his story I told him that he had an incredible testimony. He could one day, when God had prepared him enough to do so share his story with other unbelievers and even satan worshippers. I told him that people like that do not like to hear about God from people like me. They think I don’t understand their background and history, which is probably true. I then asked him if he prays a lot. He told me no because he is afraid to ask God for things. So instead he just thanks God for the many things He has given him thus far. And he said that he was thankful to God for meeting me and hearing what I had to say. So I proceeded to explain why prayer is so important for building a personal relationship with the Lord. That God wants more than just us saying we believe in Him. It is about a relationship, not a religion, as Pastor Rick always says. Not having my Bible within reach I just so happened to open my PDL book to the chapter on prayer. A “God thing” to say the least. I shared with him what Pastor Rick had written about why we need to pray and then shared some Bible versus from the book with him. At the end of the flight I realized that God had a plan bigger than my own. He wanted me to be in the back irritated so that I could help encourage this man in his walk with the Lord. In moving to Germany he is worried that he will stop going to church because he won’t find a church like his church back in Austin. So in an effort to keep him in church I encouraged him to watch saddleback services on line and to scope out churches in Germany that fits his needs. When I think that I know what is best for me, God always has a bigger plan. He wanted me back there to speak to him and to encourage him in his walk with the Lord. I opened myself up to be thoroughly used by the Lord and he is doing just that. So please keep Murick in your prayers that he will continue to grow in his walk with the Lord and that he will find not only a church to attend in Germany that will challenge him, but that he will discover his purpose and allow God to use him for His work.

So I am fighting my fever but I will be in Kigali in about 9 hours. So please keep me and my team in prayer and that God would heal my body!

Preparing for Rwanda: Warrior Princess style

2008-03-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

I leave for Rwanda in 4 days and I am so excited to go. I have never been but I could not be more ready to get there. In preparation to lead my team over there I have been working on making sure we have everything that we need, that my team is prepared, airline tickets have been purchased, travel insurance was bought, we have our materials, make it to our meetings together, and so on. Yet one that I have been lacking on is praying for my team and praying for this trip and the church in Rwanda we will be working with. I have prayed about it, but not as diligently or deep as I want and need to and I will tell you why.

When preparing for an event where you are doing the work of the Lord, the enemy gets upset. He does not like us to preach the good news to others or do the work that God calls us to do no matter what it may be. With me I have been under constant spiritual warfare. There have been so many things to set me back and distract me from the undertakings of this trip. It all started a few weeks ago with the pneumonia I came down with. That illness held me back from having the energy and strength to pursue God's purpose in preparing myself and my team properly. After the pneumonia I had the flu for a couple days. I have a job situation that has been putting stress on me and distracting me. There is a family situation that has really been hurting me and hindering me. And even a struggle to find the right clothes to wear over there has been an annoyance. There are other things that have been going on but yet all of these things whether big or small have all been stumbling blocks on my road to Africa.

The enemy has tried to make me feel insecure about my ability to lead, he has tried to distract me, stress me, scare me, make me sick, make me fail, and even make me cry. And the worst part about it is that I have fallen into his traps. I have allowed him to succeed in his plotting against me.

I had a long tearful and prayerful discussion with Shawn about this last night. And I have a choice. I can choose to allow the enemy to win and make me stumble and break my focus or I can give it all up to God. I can let God in and stand by my side as I battle through this war against the enemy.

Ephesians 6:14-17 says

¹⁴Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. NIV

I also like this take on the verse from the Message translation.

^{13 -18}Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You'll need them throughout your life. God's Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other's spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

This is what I have to do. I have to put on the armor of God and go to battle. I have to wage war against the enemy in order to stay focused on the cross and focused on my mission. If I allow satan to win this war, my trip will not be a success. If I focus on the wrongs this about this trip, I will fail and I will not be a strong leader. I have to continually ask God to prepare and strengthen my heart and my mind in an effort to become more Christ like and able to battle on.

As women we grow up with a desire to be a princess. We want to look and feel like a princess when we are little girls with our fathers being our brave prince that slays the dragon and rescues us. And then when we are older that same thought flows over into our desire to be that same princess on our wedding day and our husband-to-be has replaced our daddy as the brave and handsome prince. I blame Disney for our Cinderella complex, however we all have it even if we choose to deny it, it still exists in us somewhere. The fact of the matter is that while we all want to be a princess are we going to wait on our prince to slay the dragon or are we going to be Belle and Mulan and be brave and go to battle? Choosing to put on God's armor that he has given us, and standing by our prince, Jesus and become the brave warriors that God has equipped us to be.

If you know me you know I have a special love for Belle, so in this spiritual war that is going on, especially in my life right now, I will "warrior up" and stand by my prince and fight on like Mulan. My prince will eventually slay the dragon and this war will be over, but until that day comes I need to be prepared to fight for the rest of my life. Snow White said it best, "Someday my prince will come". Well my prince has already come. He came, he lived, he died, he rose, and he lives and reigns forever more. I'm sure I will still want to look and feel like a princess on my wedding day and my earthly prince will come, but I don't want him to rescue me. I am already rescued by my Savior. I just want him to stand by me in my war as I will stand by him in his.

So I will lead my team to Rwanda and enjoy everyday that I get to spend there doing the work of God and bring hope and peace to the people I get to meet and spend time with not as a defeated person, but as a warrior princess. The kind only God can create, the Holy Spirit can train, and that Jesus can fight for.

Break free of the fear

2008-02-18T00:49:00.000-08:00

I was reading my Bible and a couple verses really struck me. Apparently it has hit home before because it was underlined from a previous read and through these verses God really spoke to me about an insecurity or fear that I have. The verses are 2 Timothy 1: 8-10

⁸So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, ⁹who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, ¹⁰but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel.

These verses are important because one thing that I sometimes struggle with is sharing the things that God is doing in my life. I know that I am not the only one that struggles with this, there are others. However, in reading this I felt was as though God stepped right out of my Bible and said it right to my face. Those words had such a powerful impact on me. I know that in order to be a doer of the word I need to be able to step put of my comfort zone and express the things that the Lord is doing in my life and on my heart. If I am to make an impact on other people in this world then I cannot fear sharing Him. In order to lead by example I need to be comfortable speaking about things He has done and is doing.

I struggle with this probably for fear of ridicule. That people will not be receptive to what I have to say. Although I know that I cannot and will not always reach people on a deeper level, or that they will want to hear anything that I have to say, I at least have to try. There are so many incredible things that He has done for me and the things that He still continues to do in my life and on my heart are amazing. We cannot allow the enemy to get inside our hearts and minds and tell lies to us and make us insecure about our faith and our Savior. This is what Paul was trying to convey to Timothy while he was in prison and facing certain death.

Despite everything that Paul had been through and how much he had been ridiculed for his faith, he still continued to preach and testify about the Lord. He did not allow fears or insecurities to control his actions. But rather, he pressed forward and reached out to Timothy, encouraging him to never be ashamed of what the Lord is doing. Paul knew that his time was coming to an end and he needed to someone to take his place and continue to do the Lord's work. This is why he wrote his letters to him. To encourage him to fight through this battle and to never be afraid or ashamed.

There is something greater than ourselves and our lives here on earth that we are fighting for. We are fighting a battle against an enemy that is prominent everywhere we turn. He is all over the place, telling lies to us, hurting us, tempting us with superficial things that we believe will make us feel better about ourselves. He is constantly working against us, all the while making us believe that we truly be better off. He is a manipulator and evil liar. This battle is one that can only be won with the help of Jesus. Jesus saved us from our impending death and eternal suffering in hell. So to be ashamed and to not speak His name in public and share His good news with others is sinful. It is wrong to be scared. And there are many times when I am scared. I have never been ashamed, but I have been scared. And I know that I need to let go of this.

I need to not be so protective of the relationship I have with the Lord. I need to share what He is doing in my life. I need to tell others and encourage them by example. We reach to people on a much deeper level when we can actually relate to them. And even if we have never been in their particular situation, there is a reason as to why God had us cross paths and why we are being presented with the opportunity to speak to them. Therefore we all need to let go and let God. Most of us have heard that phrase one too many times. But it is because it is true. When we try and do things on our own, almost all of the time we fall short. We worry too much and we stress ourselves out on things that are out of our hands or our capabilities. That is when we need to give it to God and allow Him to handle our situation. We need to remain faithful. And if you have never done this before, I would encourage you to try it. Talk to God. Tell Him your problems, your worries, and your complaints. Give it up to Him. Ask Him to take control of your life and your situation because He will. He will absolutely do that. No matter how big or how small the situation is, God wants it. He wants us to look to Him and be faithful. Once you do that you will see Him work in your life and things will get better. And when they do, go and tell someone! Share what He has done with other people. Be that example that He has called us to be.

Paul tells Timothy in verse 8 to come and suffer with him over the gospel. The deeper we go the deeper we will suffer. The more we share God, the more people in this world will persecute us and ridicule us and call us names and try to make us feel inadequate and inferior. But that is the beauty in being a Christ follower. Jesus was crucified over the things He said and did. Now we most likely will not be crucified, for in this new millennium we really don't do that type of execution anymore, however we may be crucified in the context of people yelling at us and refusing to listen to us. That though is the enemy once again working against us through other people.

Verse 9 tells us that we were called to a holy life. We are sanctioned to testify about Christ and through grace we are saved. Just because we lead good lives and are nice to people does not mean that we will gain admission into Heaven. Despite all the good things we do on earth, if we do not ask Jesus into our hearts and follow Him then all that niceness will all go to waste. We are saved by grace and grace alone. Not by our good deeds. God does not have a chart up in heaven with Him that He puts a gold star next to our name anytime we are nice to someone or do a good deed. He looks upon that with favor, but that will NOT get us into Heaven. And by believing that, we are once again listening to a lie from the enemy. He wants us to believe that's all it takes not so that we can spend an eternity in Heaven, but rather so that we can spend an eternity in hell with him.

Jesus loves us that's why He came to earth and died for us. Because of His sacrifice and His pain and suffering, we too can spend an eternity with Him. If someone on this earth sacrificed their life for you and saved you from death, would you not go and tell everyone you know? You would be on the news and talk shows speaking about it, and you would probably even write a book about it. Why? Because someone gave themselves up for you and you feel blessed to be alive and appreciative that they would show so much love and compassion for little 'ole you. Am I right? Now, why in the world are we so afraid to do the same for Jesus? Why are we afraid to talk about Him and what the Holy Spirit is doing in our hearts? Because when a human saves us, we get a pat on the back and everyone wants to hear our story because we all need something good to believe in and frankly people will always let us down. So it is rare when someone makes an incredible sacrifice for another person. Yet Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for the ENTIRE world! And yet we don't want to hear it and we are afraid and ashamed to talk about it. We don't put people on the news because they came to know Christ or because the Lord has done an incredible thing with their life. No, we just call them Bible thumpers and Jesus freaks and make fun of them and put them down. So maybe if we stopped putting people down and just listened to them we could get over our fear and spread the good news like we were commissioned to do.

I will fight through this battle and continue to get over my fears that have been instilled in me through the work of the enemy in other people's ridicule. I will overcome and I will not be afraid. Psalm 23, one of the most famous of the Psalms says this

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

    ³ he restores my soul.
       He guides me in paths of righteousness
       for his name's sake.

    ⁴ Even though I walk
       through the valley of the shadow of death, ^[a]
       I will fear no evil,
       for you are with me;
       your rod and your staff,
       they comfort me.

    ⁵ You prepare a table before me
       in the presence of my enemies.
       You anoint my head with oil;
       my cup overflows.

    ⁶ Surely goodness and love will follow me
       all the days of my life,
       and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
       forever.

And because of this I will not be afraid because I know that the Lord is with me all the days of my life. He will comfort me and protect me and at the end of the day I will know that I am a Christ follower that is loved unconditionally. I will break free of my chains.

The ultimate Valentine

2008-02-14T15:17:00.000-08:00

Have you ever thought about how silly Valentine's Day really is? It is a day for Card companies, flower shops, jewelry stores, and candy stores to guilt the innocent consumer into spending money on people. When you buy gifts for those "special" people in your life you are doing it because you have been pressured into it by society. It is not done because you truly love and care about the person, if it was then you would do it on any other day but February 14. If you truly want to show someone that you care then buy them flowers or cards or take them to a nice dinner on any other day of the year. On the days when it is least expected, then it becomes so much more exciting and personal.

I like to call this day Valiumtine's Day because there is so much pressure surrounding it that most people need a valium to relax. If you don't know, valium is used to treat anxiety disorders. Have you ever felt anxiety over Valentine's Day? There is so much pressure to buy the right gift and make this day "one she will never forget", as the jewelry commercial says. And for those that are single, they need it because they are being shunned and being made to feel anxious about finding "the one". It is all just silly.

Valentine's Day excludes those people that are single, making them feel unloved and unappreciated. It is a day that "celebrates" the couples and segregates the single person. This is why so many people are depressed on Valentine's Day. They are surrounded by all this talk of love and watch everyone else receive gifts on a day when they are forced to give them and therefore are looked upon with pity, thus making them feel insecure about their marital status. Is this truly the way we want to make people feel? I know I don't.

If you are in a relationship and your special someone has made you feel loved and appreciated today, then I am truly happy for you. Rejoice in the fact that you have people in your life that want to cherish you today.

If you are single and you are feeling left out of the loop, I want to encourage you to look around you and be grateful for every blessing that you have. What we tend to forget is that especially on days like today, we do not need a man or a woman to make us feel loved and appreciated. We have the ultimate Valentine. Jesus is the only true Valentine that we will ever need. While it may feel good to have someone bring us flowers or do something special for us now, that is the flesh talking and the enemy telling us that we are not cared for because we do not have someone there with us physically. Those thoughts will only cripple us and make us feel emotionally insecure and vulnerable to hurt.

Jesus loved us so much that He gave His life for us that we can live with Him for eternity. Our lifetime is so short compared to the amount of time we will get to spend with Him if we are followers. He will always love us, care for us, be with us. The Bible says He will never leave us of forsake us. So take comfort in the fact that you have the best Valentine anyone could ever ask for. Because Jesus does not forget us. He will not leave us wounded and hurting. He will only love us and cherish us.

So walk through this Valentine's Day with confidence that you have the greatest gift in the world, the love of Christ and the salvation that comes with knowing Him as our Lord and Savior. Do not be a conformist and feel pressured to celebrate this day if you do not want to, instead celebrate the one's you love when they are least expecting it. And to my single friends, take heart and know that you are truly loved by your family, friends, and most of all your Lord.

Messy Sheep

2008-02-11T00:14:00.001-08:00

God is in control little sheep. Something I tend to forget. Something many of us tend to forget.

There are so many times when we go through life and make decisions and stress out and worry and fight what is happening. Sometimes we need to be reminded that God is in control. He is in control of our lives, our well-being, our future, everything. There are too many things in life that are completely out of our control. This is a hard concept for those of us that like everything to be controlled. We tend to take charge and want to make things happen a certain way in order to ensure a certain outcome. However, what happens when that outcome does not happen? The opposite happens? Chaos is what happens. The sheep are lost. We cannot control everything for we are not in the driver's seat. Not always anyways. Many times we think we are and we are not.

Take Moses and the Israelites for example. They travel to the promise land and Moses sends some men in to explore the land of Canaan. When they return they men tell stories of how the people there are much bigger, stronger, and more powerful than they. They discourage the tribe from entering into the land the Lord has promised because they fear they will die. While Joshua and Caleb plead that the land is good and God will protect them, they do not listen and they rebel. Because they did not trust that the Lord had a plan and was in control, they were forced to travel the desert for 40 years (a year for each day they explored the land) until each person had died. Their lack of faith kept them from ever seeing the land the Lord had promised to them. (Numbers 13-14)

We face giants of many kinds in life. We have to trust that God has a plan and He will be faithful to us. He will never abandon us. A shepherd never abandons his flock. We have to choose to walk into the light and stay faithful to Him. We have to make the commitment to follow Him. There is always more than what we see. There is always a lesson to be learned. By turning away we tend to drift through life and do what feels good at the time. What happens when we fall away? We start partying, drinking, slacking off, making wrong decisions, filling our lives with regret. We need to be patient and committed to Christ to see what His plan is. To follow our shepherd.

We need God's grace on a day-to-day basis. Satan works in our lives to make us feel that we are not worthy enough. We are not good enough to go to church, or to pray, or that we are not worthy of His forgiveness. The truth is, we are worthy to ask God for things such as forgiveness. There is no perfect Christian. That is a facade. The "perfect Christian" you see going to church on Sunday with their "perfect family" and their "perfect lifestyle" is a hypocrite. That person does not exist. Those hypocrites are discouraging to others. Christians suffer and hurt just as much as the next person. Sometimes even more. Paul did. He suffered and went through trials, but he always put God first and knew that God was in control. We are all messy sheep and God is our shepherd that keeps us clean. That's what makes us so special.

When things happen to us and/or other people, we need to pray and examine our hearts and see where we are at. We need to get involved and be doers of the word and not just hearers. We are living testaments and the only Jesus some people will ever see.

God commands us in John 13:34, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so that you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

God loves us in many ways, UNCONDITIONALLY (no matter what we do He will never stop loving us), SACRIFICALLY (He laid down His life to save us from sin, death, and the power of the devil), as a SERVANT (Jesus loved his disciples so much He washed their feet...including Judas who would betray Him), FORGIVING (He always forgives, even when we don't deserve it).

Christians should be known by their sincere love for one another, just as Christ sincerely loves us.

Pray hard and diligently. Pray first for God's will. Secondly, keep you're prayers Christ centered. And finally, bring God glory. For these are the kinds of prayers He will answer.

God has begun a work in all of us and we need to allow Him to complete it. He is a master artist and we are a beautiful canvas. Let him complete his master piece for all the world to see and rejoice in!

Be steadfast and proud to be a messy sheep!

A note to women: You're Beautiful!

2008-01-27T22:19:00.000-08:00

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Do you believe this to be true? Do you believe that each individual person defines beauty? Or do you believe that each person in this world is beautiful?

I believe that we are all beautiful. I believe that beauty is so much more than our outside appearance. I also believe that because we are created in the image and likeness of God that we have to be beautiful no matter what we look like, because God is beauty.

Listen to the song You're Beautiful by Phil Wickham. His song reminds us that every beautiful thing we see is God's beauty.

As women we are always being put down and told that we need to improve ourselves. We need to buy this product to take the "flaws" out of our skin. We need to buy this pair of jeans to make ourselves look thinner. We need to wear our hair a certain way and color it a certain way to make ourselves more beautiful. We are certainly not "born with it" because it's Maybeline that makes us look so pretty.

Every time we turn around we are being told what to do to improve ourselves. I am not saying that we should not take care of ourselves, but society and the media are constantly telling us that we are not good enough. But who are we not good enough for? Are we not good enough to grace the covers of the magazines? Well to be honest most of the models out there are not all that attractive and photo shop can make anyone look "beautiful".

Do you remember the reality show The Swan from a few years ago. The show where they took the "ugly ducklings" and turned them into beautiful swans through lots of plastic surgery and spending everyday at the gym. Then to make these women feel even more insecure about themselves after being told by the world that they are ugly, they make them compete in a beauty pageant to see which one is the most beautiful. Now I cannot sit here and knock beauty pageants, however I think that taking insecure women, telling them they are ugly, making them believe that plastic surgery is the only way to fix their insecurity, and then judging them on national television to simply turn around and tell one woman that she is the only one that is beautiful is wrong.

Plastic surgery is not going to fix our insecurity problems with our bodies. That is only a band-aid for a much deeper problem. It is a problem that all women have, whether we choose to admit it or not, we are all insecure with ourselves. We are constantly judging our bodies telling ourselves that we need to tone up, lose weight, change our hair, and do something with this face! We all suffer from insecurities; we just think no one else does. This is our curse as women, put on us by each other. If we would stop judging each other and comparing ourselves to each other we might actually begin to see our own unique beauty.

You see we can all buy makeup and clothes, gym memberships and diet food, but that still is not going to change our hearts. What we are missing is that we are all truly beautiful already, no matter what people see on the outside. You see our bodies are just a shell. They are temporary housing for our souls. And while we need to take care of our bodies, we do not need to obsess over it. When we die and our soul goes to meet the Lord, our bodies stay in the ground. We do not take them with us, until the day Jesus returns and we are reunited with our bodies. But we forget, when that day comes, our bodies will be flawless. There will be nothing wrong with them. In the meantime however, what we overlook is the beauty in our hearts. It is our personalities and the love that radiates out of us that makes us truly beautiful. When we honor God, serve others, and emit Christ's love we are showing our true beauty. Have you ever heard someone say" well she is not that pretty, but it's her personality that makes her pretty"? That is where this comes from. You could be the most beautiful woman in the world, gracing the covers of all the magazines and modeling for all the top designers of the world, but if you have an ugly heart, people do not see you as a beautiful person. They see you as an ugly person.

I have been involved with beauty pageants for the past few years now and trust me when I say this, you can have the most beautiful picture and wear the right clothes and have that "look" that we as women all want to have, but as soon as you open your mouth or look at someone else in disgust because of how they look, you are now the ugliest person to have entered that room. Just because you feel beautiful enough to stand on a stage and have a group of people judge you partially based upon your looks, does not mean that you are beautiful. Truly beautiful people have beautiful hearts. Having a beautiful heart is so much more important than having a beautiful face or a perfect body, because that is what others will remember you for.

When we look at ourselves and we start judging and criticizing the way that we look, we are in essence telling God, OUR creator that He did a bad job with us. Think of how it makes you feel when someone puts you down. Now imagine how it makes God feel when we put ourselves down. Think of the way it makes Christ feel, knowing that He sacrificed His life for us, that he had the skin literally torn from his body from the beatings He endured before he hung selflessly on a cross, all for us, and then we stare at our imperfect bodies and tell Him it wasn't enough.

We will never be perfect. We will never be flawless. But we can fix ourselves. We can change the way we think about our own bodies and each other’s bodies. We can stop focusing on the things we think are wrong and start changing our hearts and our minds. By recognizing that it is a change in attitude, we can change the way other people see us and more importantly the way we see ourselves.

We can start thanking the Lord for the ability to walk, talk, hear, see, and feel. We can start appreciating His beautiful craftsmanship and realize that we are a canvas that God paints on and He is never finished with us. From the day we are born to the day that we die and then are resurrected from the grave, God is constantly painting on our canvas. He is making improvements and changing things about us; always making us more beautiful for Him. But you see, this can only happen if we allow Him to do so. If we refuse God the ability to work on our hearts then we are taking the paint brushes away from Him and telling Him that we do not like or need His work. Do you really want to tell God that? You wouldn't tell a heart surgeon in the middle of surgery that you know how to perform the surgery better than he or she does when you are not a doctor, would you? No! And the reason is because you know that if you were to perform heart surgery on someone and you were not a heart surgeon, that person would die. When you take the brushes away from God, you then are ultimately dying. Your heart and your soul begin to deteriorate from the damage that is being cause by yourself. We are not equipped to fix ourselves on our own. We need help; we need the Holy Spirit to guide us, we need Jesus to walk with us, and we need God to protect us.

So give Him back the brushes and realize that you are a beautiful woman no matter what your age, dress size, hair color, skin color, or anything else that you think is wrong with you. Take pride in the fact that we were made in image and likeness of God and know that when you are filled with Christ love and the Holy Spirit, when you look in the mirror, you are not seeing yourself, you are seeing the most beautiful thing in the world, the face of our majesty and creator, God.

OC-ism Its an epidemic!

2008-01-23T19:35:00.000-08:00

I heard a horrible thing on t.v. today, OC-ism is now an epidemic. And it is extremely contagious!

Actually I heard something horrible on reality t.v. so you can't really expect it to be good. Regardless, there was this couple and they were talking about their relationship and how they were on two different pages. She was looking to get married and he was just not interested in it whatsoever. So she says, "fine, we'll just be buddies then. I have lots of buddies". He looks at her and says, "no I don't want to be buddies, and frankly we don't have enough in common to be buddies"!

My first reaction was WOW! You are a douche bag! How can you build a relationship with a man or a woman without having a friendship with them? How can you build anything without that foundation? What happens if/when you do get married and the "lustfulness" of a new romance has worn off and you are just left with each other? Well, divorce is generally what happens. The "intimate relations" (keeping it G rated) stop and so does everything else apparently.

Thankfully this woman was smart enough to break up with this guy and wait for something better. The other thing that cracks me up about it is that she calls herself a Christian and yet she expects these men that she meets in bars or other random places to be one as well and then continues to date them and sleep with them even when they are not. And then she gets upset because they do not have the same values that she does. Even in your 40's and 50's these people do not get it.

You see they all suffer from the same sickness, OC-ism. OC-ism is a disease that has begun to spread nationwide. And probably thanks in part to all the Orange County reality shows. The women are all "OC Plastics" and the men are just rich douche bags. The married one's cheat on each other with the single and much younger one's and then they all wonder why they are unhappy. Their children are spoiled brats that think the world and everyone in it owes them something. They all drive the benz or lexus that daddy bought them and buy true religion's with daddy's credit card because their parents are too wrapped up in their own lives to realize that they are raising monsters and not children. Daddy is always at work and on the road and mommy is having drinks with her girlfriends discussing some other woman's plastic surgery. And the women that are divorced are just money hungry cougars looking for husband # fill in the blank.

You see people in small towns in other states see this stuff and actually believe that these people lead glamorous lives and are happy! It is funny and terribly sad at the same time. None of these people are happy. They are all looking for the next best thing to fill that void in their hearts that they just can't understand why it's there. I mean you can fill in wrinkles with botox, cut off saggy skin with a face lift, get new implants, and even have liposuction all as an outpatient in just one day. So why can't they fix this loneliness that they all feel inside? Because they are rich and missing one important factor...GOD!

Holy crap! What a concept. Mark 10:25 says, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God". Why? Because the rich can mask their pain. They can distract themselves with new toys and trips and anything else they can think of. Others cannot, they have to deal with the realities of life. So to all those of you that want to be rich to have the lifestyles you see on these reality shows, it is so not worth the heartache and the risk of not making it to Heaven. Turn your face towards God and seek his comfort. Do not depend on earthly possessions to help you heal, but rather the peace of God and the faith that He will take care of you and protect you.

The more you focus on earthly treasures the less you build up on Heavenly treasures. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also", Luke 12:34. So where is your heart? Is your attention on keeping up with your neighbors for the latest and greatest things that mean absolutely nothing in the end? Or is it on God, and Jesus, and the blessings you have been given, and being thankful for everything you do have. It should be about being grateful and content. Not about wanting and needing more.

So do yourself a favor and go get a shot for your "OC-ism", because although the breakout of this disease is strong, there is a cure for it.

Patience

2008-01-22T12:45:00.000-08:00

One thing that I have never been good at is having patience. I've always tried to work on it, and for certain things it works and for other things it does not work.

Life is so complicated and everyone is always in a rush. Everything has to be done right away and the faster the better. We need our crackberries so that we can always be in direct contact with the world around us. We have become so dependent upon technology that we tend to forget that it is alright to speak to someone over the phone or even better, in person. What a simple concept this is that so many people forget about. We are all about sending text messages, emails, myspace comments that we lose that human touch. Yes, sometimes it is convenient to text and email when we cannot speak. However, there are many people that are so used to that way of communicating that we forget what it's like to be in the presence of others. That we all need human contact. We need to see each other and speak to each other in person. We need to be able to reach out and touch each other. We need to hug each other when we need it. You cannot do that over the phone, email, myspace, or other means of communicating.

What kind of relationships do we have with one another? We never really get to know each other. We lose that intimate contact that our souls so desperately long for. We actually need each other.

We need to learn how to slow down. To take each day for its own. Recognize the beauty in our relationships and in our own lives. We need to realize that we do not have to do everything so fast. That relationships and other important things take time.

If we want something to grow into something beautiful we have to nurture it and love it and take care of it. We have to let it happen at its own pace. We cannot get upset with God when we don't get our way. We have to rely on Him and trust that He knows what He is doing.

God places people and situations in our lives so that we can grow and learn from them. If we want something to happen we have to allow God to take control of it. We have to be patient and wait on God's timing. My timing is not His timing. All the great leaders of the Bible had to wait on God's perfect timing. When something wonderful was to happen they had to be patient. We all have to learn this. Patience is a virtue. It is a gift from God. When we are sitting in traffic and running late, are we patient? I know I'm not. I'm usually pissed off and angry at the "stupid drivers" in front of me. Even though it might not be their fault, it's probably my own for not leaving early enough, but that's where I have to be patient.

The first step to loving is being patient. We all know these verses 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails...

When we love someone are we being patient with them? Are we waiting on them? Are we letting them do the things they need to do? Are we allowing them to grow in Christ and in their own life? Or are we trying to rush them along and force them to do what we want? I see parents doing this to their children all the time. I saw a man at Disneyland one day in line to see Belle. He had an itinerary and his little girl just wanted to spend time with Belle because in the words of 4-year olds "I'm your favorite princess Belle". My point is Belle was trying to spend time with the girl and the dad crossed off "princess" from his list, took the picture and literally picked the girl up by her one arm and said "Time to go! We have to get to the haunted mansion". Well, needless to say the little girl started crying because after all she was dressed like Belle and the 45 seconds her dad allotted for her to spend with Belle just wasn't enough. The dad however, told her to stop crying and that they had to stay on schedule. Now first of all, you don't come to Disneyland with an itinerary and secondly, you don't rush your children when their dream of meeting their favorite princess or other character finally comes true. It was just heartbreaking to watch.

We all forget to be patient. It is so easy to do. But just look around you. Look at the beautiful world you live in. Go down to the beach or look to the mountains and you will see God's perfect craftsmanship. You will bear witness to the beauty that is in God's eyes. Look at the stars at night and just realize how amazing it is that God created all of this for us. For us to live in and enjoy. To look back to Him and worship, praise, and thank Him for all the wonderful things He has given us.

There is beauty everywhere. Just take the time to slow down and enjoy it. Be patient with those we love, those we want to love, or those we just need to love. They will come to you when they are ready.

*thoughts*

It is the soldier

Funny

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Praise 'Em!

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A note to women: You're Beautiful!

OC-ism Its an epidemic!

Patience

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