Praise 'Em!

The Lord is at work on something great.  He is answering a prayer in His time and it is awesome.  When you fully trust in Him and persevere on an issue He will answer you.  Sometimes it is a yes, sometimes it is a no and sometimes we just need to wait.

Today He gave me a yes and I'm excited at the possibilities that may come soon.

Praise 'Em!

P.S. Just cause I can't sleep anymore doesn't mean I can't try!

CRAZY Night!

Well, tonight was interesting.  I had dinner with some great friends that were down visiting and afterwards I spent about an hour with a homeless man named Marvin outside the restaurant.  I gave Tiffany my credit card and had her go in a buy him dinner.  Brandi made him a bouquet of lollipops and the girls and I went and sat back down with him and he sang us songs and talked about the Lord.  It was awesome.  

Afterwards I was giving my friend's son a jedi lesson in light saber fighting and we heard all this screeching noise and then it came...the smashing of two cars almost completely head on.  Nick and I immediately bolted at the sound running into the middle of the intersection to see if these people were alright.  My friend's husband, a cop came running after us and started directing traffic.   The first car was smashed in the front with all four airbags deployed and one of the two girls (there were 4 teenagers all together in the car) came running from the car screaming while the other tried to get out.  The other car was smashed on the front drivers side and they were unable to open the driver's side door.  Nick talked to them to see if they were alive, conscious, breathing, etc while I was at the other car.  It was insane!  There was an ambulance in the parking lot across the street and they were there not even a minute or two after it happened.   The two people in the second car that could not get out of the driver's side were taken to the ER in the ambulance and the four teenagers were fine, just extremely shook up.  I am not sure who hit who but one of them ran the red light, and I am almost positive it was the teenagers that came blowing through the light only to hit the other car while they were making a left hand turn.  

So the lesson for the day, feed a homeless man and PAY ATTENTION WHILE DRIVING!  And if you hear the crash do the right thing and go make sure they are all alright!

Jesus' Love

I am writing late once again but this time it is not because of insomnia, but rather because I am bursting at the seams to tell you of the Love of Jesus. 

This week the message God spoke to me about being still has resonated inside my heart, my mind, and my soul.  Everyday that I spend meditating on those two words, God reveals something new about what he means by me being still.  Tonight I was at a worship concert at Saddleback and as I was sitting there listening to Meredith Andrews sing I could not help but fight back my tears.  Once again God was speaking directly to me but through her this time.  Every song she sang, even though I had heard it before, sounded as if it was the first time her words had ever reached my ears.  And every word she spoke before she would sing was a message from the Lord about being steadfast in Him, going deeper with Him when He calls, and trusting in Him when we feel lonely or as though we have lost it all.  She then sang the song that has become the theme song for my life right now, You’re not alone.  I love the lyrics of that song so much. 

I search for love

When the night came and it closed in

I was alone

but you found me where I was hiding

and though I'll never ever be the same

It was the sweetest voice that called my name

singing

 

You're not alone

For I am here

let me wipe away every fear

My love I've never left your side

I have seen you through the darkest night

and I'm the one that's loved you all your life

All of your life

 

You cry yourself to sleep

cause the hurt is real

and the pain cuts deep

All hope seems lost

With heartache your closest friend

and everyone else long gone

 

You've had to face the music on your own

but there is a sweeter song that calls you home

**sayin'

 

You're not alone

For I am here

let me wipe away your every tear

My love I've never left your side

I have seen you through the darkest nights

And I'm the one that's love you all your life

All your life

 

Faithful and true... Forever

For my love will carry you....

 

You're not alone

for I... I am here

let me wipe away every fear... Oh yeah

My love I've never left your side

I have seen you through your darkest nights

Your darkest nights

And I'm the one that's loved you all your life

All of your life

As she sang that song I was taken back to my first, real, and only love, Jesus.  I closed my eyes and felt God stir inside of me and an image came into my head.  It was a vision that I was looking at myself on my knees, kneeling before the cross of Jesus.  It was on a hill and the sun was setting and the various orange colors of the sunset were dancing in the sky.  I was weeping as I knelt before the cross and all of a sudden a man in a white robe came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me and gave me comfort, and that man was Jesus.  If I could draw I would replicate this picture on paper so I could save it for the rest of my life.  It was beautiful.

Jesus knows our pain; he understands our hurts more than anyone does.  The reason that He knows this is because He took that pain from us the day He hung on that cross.  He stayed there nailed to the cross all day feeling every hurt, sorrow, pain, and sadness that we all would ever feel throughout our lives as He died that day.  He knows what we are feeling and that is why He is able to comfort us like no one else can.  That is why my vision/image was so surreal to me tonight, because Jesus felt it first so He is the one that can give you and me the true and lasting comfort that we so desperately need at times.  The kind of comfort that we long to receive from our friends and loved ones, but they never seem to get it quite right, that is the kind of comfort and healing that only Jesus can give.  If you understand the kind of pain someone is going through, you are better suited to help them because you actually know what that pain feels like and how to walk through it.  And Jesus is that person for us.  He felt the pain first and therefore He knows how to comfort and heal us.  And it is all because He loves us!  Oh how He loves us so much!  He loves us so much that we can give thanks in knowing that someone understands what we are going through, even if all the walls feel like they are closing in on you.  Jesus loves you so much and wants you to seek after Him, no matter what the cost may be.

When God Speaks

I sat in church tonight prepared to hear just another good message.  With no expectations whatsoever I opened the bulletin, pulled out the famous Saddleback Notes and to my surprise they were not the usual ten fill-ins with bullets and short Bible verses, but rather a story from the Acts with only three points to fill in.  Upon seeing this discovery I thought that message tonight might not be all that interesting because there was not a whole lot of writing for me to do.  They say you are not supposed to judge a book by its cover and this is something I too will agree with.  However I still did not think much of it, maybe it is just my current mood that prevented me from getting overly excited or having high expectations, but the message tonight hit me like a car into a brick wall at over 200mph.

God speaks to us in many different ways; one is directly to your heart and soul, or through the Bible, and even through other people.  I felt tonight like God gave this message to Pastor Buddy Owens to speak directly to me.  It was as if I was sitting alone in the worship center and God was having a face-to-face conversation with me and it was awesome.

He spoke on Acts 16: 23-34, when Paul and Silas were beaten and imprisoned and the point of his message was “What to do when there’s nothing you can do”.  When life’s circumstances are completely out of your control and there is nothing you can really do to fix it.  The story was pulled apart and the people involved were examined.  The reason why Paul was in prison was because of his obedience to God.  He had a dream, God spoke to him and he did what he was told to do, even though it landed him in prison.  Silas was there because he was loyal to Paul.  We are not told what happened, just that of all the people that were with Paul, Silas was the only other person arrested with Paul.  The jailer was in prison because that was his duty, his job.  The prisoners were there because they put themselves there on their own bad decisions. 

 

²³After they had been severely flogged, they were thrown into prison, and the jailer was commanded to guard them carefully. ²⁴Upon receiving such orders, he put them in the inner cell and fastened their feet in the stocks.

 ²⁵About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them. ²⁶Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everybody's chains came loose. ²⁷The jailer woke up, and when he saw the prison doors open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself because he thought the prisoners had escaped. ²⁸But Paul shouted, "Don't harm yourself! We are all here!"

 ²⁹The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. ³⁰He then brought them out and asked, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?"

 ³¹They replied, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household." ³²Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all the others in his house. ³³At that hour of the night the jailer took them and washed their wounds; then immediately he and all his family were baptized. ³⁴The jailer brought them into his house and set a meal before them; he was filled with joy because he had come to believe in God—he and his whole family.

His three points were this:

1.     Make a decision.  What are you going to do when you are in a circumstance that you cannot control?  Are you going to pout or are you going to pray?  Are you going to worry or are you going to worship?

2.     Hold on to your faith.  Hold on to what you know is true about God.  Trust in Him no matter what the outcome may be.

3.     Stay Focused.  Don’t be distracted by your trouble.  Talk to God, sing praises to Him.  Keep the word of God in your heart and let the praises of God become the soundtrack of your life. 

What got me was the complete and total affirmation I received from God.  It was as though He came to me and said Brittany you are doing everything I expect you to do, be still and know that I am God.  I am in control and I have you exactly where I want you to be.

I have been spending massive amounts of time with the Lord the past four days, in the Word, prayer, meditation and fasting.  The Bible tells us that when we truly want to seek God and praise Him this is what we are to do.   Daniel fasted, Paul fasted, Jesus fasted, and others in the Bible fasted in an effort to hear the voice of God and learn what it is that He wants from them or to teach them something.  It is an act of obedience and total surrender to God and to the Holy Spirit.  In this time one big thing that the Lord spoke to me was to Be Still.  I had been very anxious and upset and He just told me to be still, to give up all that I was feeling and to release it to Him.  To remember that He is in control of everything and I needed to not be so worrisome.  I have been meditating on those words since He spoke them.  There have been other things that have been spoken to me as well, but this was a big one that has really stuck and I am reminded of it daily.  Tonight though everything came together. 

I made a decision right away that I was going to give my situation to the Lord.  I said from day one that this was in His control and that whatever was His will I would accept it, even if it were not what I wanted.  Well, it is not what I wanted, but it is what the Lord wants.  I have not lost my faith, but rather my faith has been strengthened and renewed.  I know that the Lord has a plan and a purpose and therefore I have been holding on to that promise tighter than you could imagine.  And finally I have been extremely focused on the Lord.  I have my moments of melt down and tears, but that is when I have to give it back up to Him.  I have to release my anxiety, worry, fear, hurt, heartache, and pain and know that He is God and He is in control.  Sometimes it is easy to forget because you just want to forgo any wisdom and just wallow, but that gets you nowhere.  I have kept the word of God in my heart and I get into it completely, day-by-day for that very reason.  When I am focused on Him, I am on the road to healing. 

As I sat and listened to Buddy speak tonight the words “be still” came crashing into me again.  I realized that when He originally told me to be still the meaning was two-fold.  At first it was for me to calm down and give it to Him, to trust that He was doing something with this.  Tonight I received the other half of the message He was giving me.  To be still and to stay exactly where I am, to not run away and find the quick fix.  To stay focused on Him and to not get distracted by the things of this world that only mask our pain temporarily and do nothing to heal us.  He was telling me this, “I am protecting you, I am shielding you, stay in this place where I have you wrapped in my arms.  Let me protect you, comfort you, and heal you.  Don’t run away from me and try and fix this on your own.  Let me do what I have set out to do, what I have been trying to do for a while that you have not let me do.  I started this now let me finish this.  Be still Brittany, stop moving and let me work.”  When He spoke that message to me I wanted to fall off of my chair, start crying and praise Him.  I fought back the tears in my eyes and started praying a prayer of thanks for the wonder and awesomeness that the Lord is.  He is so good and I have not given Him enough credit the past few months and for that I am repentant. 

The Lord only wants what is best for us and He will heal and deliver us from our pain.  The rest of the message tonight was asking who are you in this story?  Are you Paul and in your prison for your obedience to God?  Are you Silas and there because of your loyalty to someone and you are therefore stuck in their situation?  Are you the jailer who either needs or has had a spiritual awakening?  Or are you the prisoners, who have been set free by God, but instead of walking out of the prison like Paul and Silas did you decided to stay in your current misery.  You decided that sitting in your own mess is better than being free and walking with God.  I came to see that in the past I was the prisoner, I was the one that was trapped by my own chains and when God tried to set me free I did not move out of my cell.  I just decided to stay there.  Now I have not decided to walk out of my cell, I have put on my LiveStrong Nike’s and run out of there as fast as my 100% of the sale, charitable, Nike’s will take me!  I’m not staying around to find out once again that I cannot fix my own mess God has to do that.  My chains are broken and He has set me free, why would I want to stick around and lock myself back up?  Yet, so many of us do this and we do not even realize it.  We have these chains that keep us bolted to the ground.  Some problem or fear that we refuse to deal with or give to the Lord, we either hold on to it really tight, learn how to cope with it, or we ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist, thus keeping us chained to the ground in our pain.  No matter which approach you take, we are choosing to stay locked in our cell, even when God is offering total freedom and redemption.  Not a single one of us, believer or not is free from this bondage.  We all have some issue(s) that is holding us back from pursuing the Lord with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength, and from living the life that God intended us to live.  The phrase “Let go and let God” is highly overused and is most times just a generic cliché for a superficial comfort from people who pretend to care.  However, it has truth behind it.  We do have to let go of our problem and we do have to rely on God to change us and heal us.  So how about “release and restore” or something of that nature.  God allows us to go through times of pain so that He can teach us, mold us, and shape us into the people that He wants us to become.  For me, this is one of those times.  It is a time of hurting, fear, release from strongholds, and restoration of my heart and soul, and the One who created and designed my heart and soul is doing it.  The One that made me and has a plan for my life is fixing the damage I have done so that I can get back to where I need to be and do the things He originally planned for me to do.  Great things that only God could have though of.  That is why we hurt and that is why He, God, is the ultimate healer and lover of our souls.

How He loves us

How is it that you Love us Lord?  How can it ever be measured?  It is impossible to know the true extent of the love that you feel for each and every one of us.  Not just your followers but also every single one of your creations.  You love us all.  

The oceans waves crashed on the shore today, yet again reminding me of all the intricacies of your beautiful creation.  I stand in awe of the mighty power of the oceans current and realize that I am just a speck of sand compared to the massive body of water.  Yet in your eyes I am more than a speck.  We all are.  You did not created speck of things to just fill up room.  You created people with hearts, minds, bodies, and souls.  You gave us free will and the power to choose to worship and love you. 

You created every detail of this earth from the smallest microorganism to the largest Blue Whale.  You thought about every detail of each living thing in this world.  You gave everything a purpose and nothing has ever or will ever go unnoticed in your eyes.  Looking at the vast expansion of our sky and realizing that there is so much more in our universe that we will never see here on earth and it is was all done for us to enjoy and for your glory Lord.  We are here to serve and worship you.  We can worship you in everything that we do.  We can worship you in the smallest details of our lives for you are an awesome God.

You love us so much that our brains will never be able to comprehend the extent to which you will do things for us and why.  Some people choose not to believe that you are God because they cannot figure you out Lord.  But we are not supposed to completely figure you out because you are God.  There are some things about you that we just have to have pure faith in.  The beauty of you Lord is that we can figure out many things about you just by walking with you everyday.  By sharing in your creation, loving each other and spending time just worshipping and listening for your voice.   There is none like you Lord.  No matter how much the enemy tries to pull us away from you, how many lies he feeds us, or how much he tries to hurt you through us, you will be victorious Jesus!  You are King and you will reign forever.  No one can take that from you.  James says, even the demons shudder at the sound of your name.  Satan himself is not free from you either.  He bows at your feet God.  He has even had to ask permission to tempt before.  But you will always protect us through it all.

We will ALL walk through spiritual battles in our lifetime.  None of us are immune to the enemy.  Yet if we remain close to you and give up whatever we are battling we will win.  We can overcome and we can be free of our strongholds.  People say, "If God is for me who can be against me?” well everyone.  Everyone can be against you.  But we have You on our side and because of your love for us we can stand victorious.  Just because we have you does not mean that we will be free of hurt and pain.  Satan is always out to get us, everyday, but many do not realize this.  Many believe that either the enemy does not exist or that he does not affect them.  But this is a lie that he feeds them so that he can become invisible to them and they will not even realize the work he is doing in their lives. "Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5:8.  Jesus even you were tempted by Satan.  He tempts everyone and the enemy himself is blinding anyone who believes otherwise from the truth.  But no matter what Lord we can always look to you for strength.  We can rebuke him in your name Jesus and we can fight on in this raging war.  It will only get worse before it gets better, but when it does get better it will be more than we were created to imagine.  We cannot comprehend the pain and suffering of neither hell nor can we comprehend the joy and wonder of heaven, but that was done so that it will be a sweet surprise for us when we get there.  

The past few days I have been greatly feeling and needing your love Lord.  You have not failed me yet, but rather have met me with open arms in the dark, leading me out into the light.  You have brought me comfort, peace, and an overwhelming sense of restoration and healing.  It comes in small doses but it comes all day long.  You love us so and we are called to love others.  Therefore I say, I have forgiven them and I am desperately trying to love them the way you call us to love each other.  For even the unlovable are lovable if we seek to love them like you do. 

I long for you Jesus like an infant longs for its mother.  I am eager to know and love you more and more intimately and deeper each day.  You meet me every morning and you lay me to rest every night.  You are picking up the pieces and putting them back in order.  I know that I cannot rebuild what you have crafted and I have tried unsuccessfully in the past.  I praise you for your great works and the work of the Spirit inside of me right now.  They say there is light at the end of the tunnel, but the light is with us all the time and in that light there is love.  For you are our light Jesus.  You light our paths; you even said you are the light of the world.  It is a reminder of the lights from the pilgrims at the Feast of Tabernacles.  All who came to worship you in those days filled the sky with light and now you fill the sky with light.  Your death and resurrection has filled my life with light.  Even though I feel as though I am walking in the dark, I am not.  I am walking with in the light, for you are with me.

Rwanda Update from Friends Church Kigali

I know it has been a while since I have posted a blog, but here is an update from Rwanda.  I am so pleased that things have gone well with them since we left and it is such a blessing to hear the things God is doing there.

Hello to each of you,   How are you all doing since you were here with us in Rwanda? We are all doing well in my family, in the church and our country in general.   I wanted to tell you the good fruit that we saw from the 40 Days of Purpose. Our Church has 4 smaller churches under it, so these numbers are coming from all 5 churches.   Before the 40 Days of Purpose we had 452 members and after the 40 Days we now have 516 members. So we gained 64 through 40 Days of Purpose. We have already baptized some of these new believers and we are training and teaching the others before we will baptize them.   Before the 40 Days of Purpose we had 50 small groups, now we have 64 small groups.   There are a few obstacles we are facing... --Some of our new members are elderly people and sickly people who live far away up to 7-8 km away from our Church of Kagarama. --It is difficult for some people that live in the city to find time to come to teachings/trainings of the church. --We have many small groups, but not all of the small group leaders are prepared and others do not have enough time to lead.   In order to solve these little problems (overcome the above obstacles)... 1)--For those that live far away we are renting a place for them to meet during the week so that they only have to come to Kagarama once per week. 2)--We are studying and preparing teachings that will be helpful in mid-week small group meetings and then we will meet all together on Sundays. 3)--We are and will be doing some workshops to train the small group leaders. 4)--For the finale of the 40 Days we rented a vehicle and went and picked up those that live far away to help ease their coming to the finale.   In the last day of the 40 Days of Purpose God did a miracle in my life. One of my sons named Nitegeka Jeremie who is 15 years old has not been a good boy for the last 7 years, he has had bad character traits/behaivor. To tell his testimony in brief, he accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior, he was given a vision of an angel standing in front of him, on his right was a bright light (holiness) and on the left was darkness (sin).and the angel told him that he needed choose to accept Jesus or die. The angel told him that he has 2 gifts; 1 is to sing and a gift to play soccer, and told him that he needs to use these abilities that God has given him. The angel also told him that people despise him (the pastor's son) because of his sins. The angel told him that God loves him but that He hates his sin. So on the last day of the 40 days of purpose he stood in front of our congregation and repented of his sins and accepted Christ. His testimony is very long, but I have tried to say it in a few words.   Please continue to pray for my family to continue in the Lord and for our church to continue to grow.   Thank you,   Pastor Gaspard Karemera Kagarama Friends Church Rwanda